Your Wand is my Friend
by SfoCrazy
Summary: "The wand chooses the wizard- The wand learning from the wizard, the wizard from the wand." But what if you were a freak and touching another's wand caused you to learn everything that passed through that wand and was learned by the host. Another twisted story around the time of the Tri-Wizard tournament. No Slash.
1. Chapter 1

"The wand chooses the wizard- The wand learning from the wizard, the wizard from the wand." But what if you were a freak and touching another's wand caused you to learn everything that passed through that wand and was learned by the host. Another twisted story around the time of the Tri-Wizard tournament. No Slash.

This is defiantly Mature so be pre-warned. With 650,000 HP stories out there I have probably stepped on someone's toes, for that I apologize. I am having fun and it's addicting, so on with my attempt at writing or scribbling in my case. You get it as I write it and it's as fast as I can put the words down on the screen.

If you look past my grammar etc, you may find a story, then maybe not. This will contain lot of character bashing, character death and not book compliant.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners i.e. J.K. Rawlings, etc. The original characters and plot are the property of the author i.e. J.K. Rawlings, etc. This work is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Not for sale or profit but hopefully the enjoyment of the reader.

…^…^…^…^…^…^…Your Wand is my Friend…^…^…^

Chapter 1—How it started

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They say that a child's magical core can not handle a wand until they are eleven. This is said because a child's magic has not stabilized. They are quick to talk of wild magic and accidental magic but maybe I am just weird or different. Maybe the Dursley's were correct and I am a freak but with that all said it happened one day early in the morning. I think I was about a year old and I got out of my crib looking for some food which meant mommy.

I waddled into mommy's bedroom to announce my presents; I was not much of a crier and tried to say what I wanted but I was still working on that. My vocabulary wasn't that great but I had a lot of physical restrictions. I think I wanted to climb onto her bed but as I reached up to the night table I got a handful of mommy's wand rather than the night table. I fell on my bum and was about to express my frustration when the wand gave me a jolt of sorts. That is how they found me, sitting on the floor looking at the wand. That jolt raised my conscience levels but did crap for my motor skills. While I know I couldn't talk past a gurgle but that was physical more than mental. I still don't want to talk about bodily functions during this time in my life.

A couple of months later Da left his wand on the coffee table when he fell asleep. I wasted no time and grabbed it. I again got a jolt putting me on my bum. A week later I got Padfoo's wand and another jolt. By this time I had neither super magical powers nor a university degree in sentence structure but I understood a lot of things. I knew what they were talking about when the said charms or potions, although when I saw a book labeled DADA it confused me.

My wooden building blocks were of little interest anymore but a book on the shelf caught my eye, it had DADA Defensive Spells written on it. I got through a good portion of it before they found me and took the book away and I got, "Oh how cute", "Look he's pretending to read". Hay folks give the kid a break, I thought. My eyes worked just fine and they seemed to have a good connection to my brain. I just wish the connection from my brain to my mouth worked, I was still having talking problems and I still don't want to talk about my other motor skills.

What I figured out later was from a lot of wise statements that were made to me like, "The wand learning from the wizard, the wizard from the wand". "You form a bond with your wand as you both learn".

For some reason when I hold someone else's wand I can easily learn what that person learned through their wand. I absorb the ability to learn not to perform things immediately but I can learn it without much practice. My motor skills are starting to bug me, have I told you that before? My mother was great in charms and potions but my father was a great Auror so I was getting a lot from the books they left around the house.

Yes, I said was! This now brings me to their death. I think I was almost two years old and staying in the crib was only to keep my parents happy. I could climb in and out at will and did so to get to any books I could. A reading genius I am not but the books had the name of the spell and wand movements. I had no wand to practice with but I was learning the knowledge. Now on to that night as described by so many people, books and knows-it-alls! Guess who was the only one standing that night when Padfoot came rushing in grabbed me and gave me to Hagrid? ME!

Who would like to have kick Dumbledore's ass if I could reach that high? ME! Anyhow, my parents had put me to bed and they were down stairs playing paddy-cake. Hay! That's what they called it when talking to me! I snuck out of the crib and headed to their room to see if I could get to a book or two. The great Auror had left his wand on the night table so I scooped it up as they wouldn't be back for hours. I found a book requiring wand movements and decided to do a little practice. Of course I would have probably blown the place up but that's later.

I was comfortably back in the crib and practicing the wand movements when all hell breaks loose downstairs. I hear yelling and Mommy came into the room followed by a stranger a few seconds later. They did some yelling and Mommy uses her wand and then the stranger sends this green spell and Mommy falls down dead. I figure out the dead part later. He then starts laughing and shoots that green spell at me. I don't overly remember the whole thing but I pointed Da's wand and yelled "NO!" My toy box leaps into the green light and the green light bounces back on the stranger. He falls down like my mother. The toy box had exploded along with a good portion of the room. I am hit by all kinds of pieces of broken toys as well as the wooden box they were kept in. All I know is I got super tired and fell back onto the mattress. Peter rushes in grabs the stranger and his wand and leaves. A few minutes or hours later I woke up and started to climb out of the crib to help mommy. I put the wand in my training pants under my pajamas and was about to climb out. When Padfoot rushes in and checks mommy I get to say, "Padfoot, the strange man…" but he pays no attention and rushes out. He rushes back in, slams a formula bottle in my mouth and I get a hand off to Hagrid who is then off on his motorcycle. All I got was a cleaning charm, a blanket wrapped around me and second class seat to a door step.

One year later:

That's it I'm out of here! I got second-hand bath water, second-hand clothes, no hugs, and no presents at Christmas or on my birthday. The other fat kid gets everything except in one area; he gets no slap, pushes or yells I do. If I say a word, slap…I touch something that belongs to Dudley, slap...you spilled your water, slap. This is no way describing the verbal abuse. I still have a motor skill problems and lugging the vacuüm around brings up my lack of any muscles. All I have learned so far is do the best you can out of the sight of the Dursley's and keep your mouth shut.

Now they want me to cook and maintain the garden and the slaps are now turning into hits and kicks. I took out my father's wand and sat in my cupboard and wished to be elsewhere, anywhere else. A POP later I was standing in the street someplace not called the Dursley's. I stuffed the wand in my waistband and hunted for an Auror. Not long into the hunt I got my wish from some one called a policeman, so I pleaded for help; the orphanage was a big step up in my life as Harold Jimmy Johnson. They took Harry as a short for Harold and gave me the rest, my last name I kept to myself as I did not want a ticket back to the Dursley's.

Seven years later:

The schooling was adequate, the clothing was adequate and I had a comfortable bed. While they kept control over the kids, sneaking out was no problem. I had gone on a number of expeditions to see what existed in the world. I got lucky one day as I spied a wand sticking out of a back pocket of a girl in jeans. Numerous questions by me got instructions to find the magical sector on Charing Cross Rd or better known as Diagon alley. I got one surprise that day as one of the places I wondered into was Gringotts Wizarding Bank. On a lark, after almost running at the sight of Goblins, I asked if there was any money under the name of Potter. I had my buns dragged into SharpKnife's office so fast I think my shoes are still in the main hall. Since he was my account manager he had all the time in the world to explain some things and escort me to my trust vault after recalling my key from somewhere or someone.

"Harry I would recommend your getting books from Florish & Blott's on wizard culture, government and social registry. This is a dangerous place for a person with your money and no knowledge of how this pure-blood society works."

Loaded down with Galleons and Pounds I took off to the book store. Then I found an optical shop for contacts. While the glasses provided by the orphanage were adequate I wanted contacts, so I bought some. In brown, black, and blue I had money and I wanted more that just adequate. I was happy that I did as the one book I bought about Harry Potter, well that was enough for me to hide forever. The books had me fighting dragons to wheeling a magical sword. There was no way I could face these kind of expectations of what I could do, or were these powers something I somehow forgot about in my younger life? Yea right!

My looks were along way from the description in the books as I now had long hair tied in the back and made sure from then on to have blue eyes for Diagon Alley. I laughed myself silly over the scar on my forehead which I didn't have. I had been cut up pretty bad that night but they had all healed even the bad one on my forehead and the scar had long ago faded. I read somewhere that a wand needed to be personal so I needed to buy one. Olivander's wand shop I found about later while down in Knockturn alley there was this great shop. He explained about wands and tracking charms and how his wands had none of that garbage. He also gave me a place to go if I wanted a job. It wasn't a great job and the pay sucked but I was someplace I could learn how the magical world turned. If Knockturn Alley was any example of the magical world the world was a right pig sty.

Knockturn alley folks were normal for the most part but had a high percentage of evil nasty types. I had to stun a couple before the word got out not to mess with Jimmy or Jim as I was called. The place I worked at was called the Junk Shop. You could say that it sold junk except if you wanted something; he had it or obtained the item. My job was to run to the Owl post and get it off ASAP or hop the Knight Bus and deliver the item. He was a nice old guy and gave me a lot of information about everyone and everything. I was however running out of time. I worked all day and studied all night about magic and still attended school at the Orphanage, it wasn't working.

"Well I can't sell you a time turner but I do have a room I could rent you upstairs." The room cost me my salary but it was worth it and the old guy told no one that I had runaway from the Orphanage. He had my help for a shout and I had time to read all the books he had and all I could buy at the book shop. I also had the time to practice doing spells and curses. Unfortunately no one was around to tell me what were good or bad spells or curses so I learned them all. The books did say about the three unforgivable curses but who needed them when you could hit your opponent with a curse and watch his innards fall out.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2—Testing and new laws

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I finally connected my holding a wand and being able to learn the spell or charm that had passed through the wand. Then the old man's elf taught me a few tricks. The elf didn't mean to but on one trip I held the elf's hand when he 'slid' to a delivery address. I now could 'slide' rather than 'apperate'. The old man had about sixty used wands in a box so I received more shocks as I tried each one. I was learning this stuff at a fantastic rate and some of the old skills increased when I got hold of a wand of someone who was better at that subject, spell or curse.

A day finally came, "So Jimmy what you are going to do about your education? You do know you have to go to school under your real name" the old man grinned.

"Old Man your shitting me, aren't you?"

"Nope, whoever you become eleven you get an owl from Hogwarts. If you do not respond they will follow-up and then the Ministry will be notified to find you; everyone had to be trained to OWL levels."

"Shit!"

The good news was that in England no one had identification until they reached sixteen and that was a national driver's license. Provincial driver licenses were no good in a lot of areas. You could get a passport but who ever went traveling? So I could attend under my current name and Harry Potter could disappear. I laid that on the old man and he responded,"Yep you could try but they use anti-cheating quills during end of year tests and OWL testing so you have to put your real name down on the papers."

After a few nights of what ifs and sleepless nights I headed down to the Wizarding Examinations Authority. "Yes Miss I would like some information about taking my OWLs."

"The next testing is in a week, just show up with fifty Galleons and you can sit the test." replied the bored receptionist.

It was great to be ignored by almost everyone, I could not imagine the attention I was going to get when I appeared as Harry Potter. I walked into the Ministry and out of the Ministry and no one paid any attention to me, I was going to miss this being Mr. nobody.

I no sooner get back to my loft when SharpKnife's owl arrives. I need to be in his office now!

/Scene Break/

"SharpKnife what's the hurry?"

"Since you showed up I've had our research department looking into your affairs. I also had an audit done on all your accounts, just to check after these areas have been idle for long."

"And?"

"Everything is above-board even though Dumbledore has applied for access to your family faults many times. What research found, that under law, we can now add the Slytherin and Riddle vaults to your account. This is old law under conquest and your being an off shoot of the Slytherin line via the Pervell Family but this will allow you to file paperwork to get you emancipated. As an adult your problem over going to Hogwarts is mute after your OWL testing."

"What do I have to do?" I was just about ready to jump out of my skin in happiness.

"Your signing here makes your application effective 31 October 1981 and the youngest ever to be emancipated."

/Scene Break/

I showed up at the Ministry's and put on my Potter 'glamor' charm before entering the Wizarding Examinations Authority room. I almost cried having to put down my name as Harry James Potter. At least the quill didn't mess with my glamour charm which showed spiky black hair, glasses and a lightning bolt scar.

The multiple written tests over the next few days were a breeze. The practical exams were childish, I mean having pineapples tap dancing? Professor Marchbanks asked at the end of the practical if I had any special talents or accomplishments that I wished to produce for extra points. I must have over done it when I turned into a Panther as she fainted. After Professor Tofty revived the poor lady I then showed my Patronus, and then conjured six musical instruments to play a waltz. I was told to register my animigus form next door if I wished to stay legal. Another transfer into a Panther and twenty Galleons I had my license. I wondered over to the 'apperation' section and that cost me thirty Galleons for the license. I really have no idea why all these turkeys were so excited, wasn't that part of being a wizard?

The fire place lit up at Hogwarts School of Wizardry and Arthur Weasley came out babbling. "Albus Harry Potter just was at the Ministry and you should hear them talk."

"Yes I'm sure someone so famous showing up at the Ministry would cause a commotion even if he should not have been there."

"Albus he just registered and was licensed as an animagus and he got his 'apperation' license."

"Surely Arthur those are just wild rumors over a famous person showing up at the Ministry."

"Check yourself Albus I have to get home and tell Molly that Ginny's betrothed is so talented." Author jumps into the fire with the shout "The Burrow".

Albus Dumbledore was furious; he would put armed guards around Privet Drive and keep that brat locked in that house if anything Arthur said was true. At the Ministry he gave a kick at the Goblin he almost tripped over getting to the proper offices. It was too bad he didn't know that the same Goblin was carrying the Harry Potter final paper work for emancipation. The guards went up at Privet Drive an hour later.

/Scene Break/

Privet Drive the next morning:

"Yes what do you want?" Vernon Growled.

"I wish to see you and …"

"Well I don't want to see you, your undoubtedly trash the way your dressed." Vernon was having a bad day.

"Is Harry available I…"

"He left years ago and now it's your turn!" Vernon slammed the door in Dumbledore irate face.

Dumbledore organized his plan of entering the house, checking on the status of Harry and then 'Obliviating' the whole lot of them. He could not have Harry remembering anything he learned beyond Privet Drive.

That plan went south as Vernon and his car came racing out of the garage as he was late for work. MadEye Moody was later sent to guard and confirmed that there was no sign of Harry Potter at Privet Drive.

/Scene Break/

Gringotts Bank London:

"Yes I wish to file this marriage contract with the proper office." Dumbledore had a plan. With this contract he might be able to access the Potter Family vaults as a representative of Ginny Weasley.

"That will be one hundred Galleons wizard." Dumbledore happily paid the money as he could almost feel the gold in his pockets. Now the only thing he needed was to get some laws passes. Lets see, national treasure, must be trained by expert me, yes next week at the Wizengamot and a set of new laws. Harry Potter would be rounded up and put under the kindly rule of Molly Weasley.

The Goblin deposited the money and delivered the contract to SharpKnife. He knew there was a good chance of blood being spilled over this document.

SharpKnife broke into laughter, someone was in trouble and not his client. He dispatched an owl to Harry and awaited the explosion. Harry he knew was a well rounded adult in an eleven year old body. Living in Knockturn alley at that age and still alive only meant fights and that Harry had probably killed already if rumors were correct. Residents of that alley were closed mouthed about what went on in Knockturn Alley. One thing was true, they protected their own, the rest just disappeared.

SharpKnife's FLASHBACK:

"Master SharpKnife there are reports of a fight in Knockturn Alley!"

"Why would that concern us AxSmasher?"

"The ministry will be coming for vault confiscation as at least two were marked with the Dark Mark."

"I fail to see why this rates such excitement on your part AxSmasher,"

"SharpKnife there was four adults in the fight and a wizard child."

"I fail to see…"

"The kid is said to be about ten years old but killed all four of the adults, the Aurors are looking for the kid as he disappeared."

END FLASHBACK:

An hour after the marriage contracts submission:

"SharpKnife we have to stop meeting like this, someone is going to start talking? I thought a little joking was needed; there was trouble in this call from Gringotts.

"Harry take a seat this is going to take some scheming to get even."

"Huh?"

"Dumbledore has some weird plans for you or he just hates you. He just filed a marriage contract as your magical guardian. It's not worth the paper it's written on but it's the fact that this is line theft and is a very dangerous game to play."

I was pissed but anger never got me anything, "So what do you suggest I do, don't do or who do I kill?"

"Knowing he is an enemy is a plus but first I would do nothing over the marriage contract. Find out as much as you can but do nothing. They will think they have a hold over you while you plan their failure. You will also have something to hang over their heads if they box you into something you don't like."

"I can't do that from the Junk Shop and the Ministry will be of no help." I was not getting anywhere the way things were currently .

"You may want to play spy in their midst."

"SharpKnife you have a suggestion so just spit it out."

"Go to Hogwarts, that's were Dumbledore is and see what you can see, you are an adult and can walk out at any time."

"I would be more like a cat among the pixies but I don't have a better plan. He has all the power yet I don't have any leverage against him and maybe I can learn something there. Where is the closest town to Hogwarts and can I rent a place there?"

"Actually there is a village called Hogsmeade Village just outside of Hogwarts. You have no need to rent as there is a cottage you own that's been vacant for a while, I will have renovated for you. I also have a permission slip sighed by your aunt for student weekend visits. She sign it an a general release form for only a few pounds. This will stop anyone who doesn't know that you are an adult. I also will provide you a permanent port-key to Hogwarts from your cottage and back again."

"You of course just thought of this just this second, did you?" I laughed.

/Scene break/

I paid the old man a years rent just in case and then the fun began. I went on a buying binge. The cottage was on the main street of Hogsmeade but way down the main street. With no serious magic in the area I could load up on muggle TVs etc.

The most fun was shopping for school supplies in Diagon Alley. I looked like myself and not Harry Potter described in the books while the Dumbledore gang stood out like red robes on a snow bank. I had one woman who just got super nosey right next to me.

"Have you seen Harry Potter by any chance?" asked a pink headed girl while I was in Madam Malkins.

"Sorry honey never seen him ever!" After she answered the girl turned to me and asked who I was.

"Me? I'm Jimmy and you are." She of course didn't answer but Madam Malkins added,

"Jimmy Johnson don't you get fresh with the Auror she is just doing her job."

"Can't seen how, this Potter, has he become a public enemy or something that makes him arrest-able?" I was having fun.

"Actually he has, there is a new law out that says he must attend Hogwarts so Professor Dumbledore can train him up or until he becomes an adult." She growled.

"Under that old 'has-been' no wonder that Potter bloke is hiding out." That pissed her off good but before she could reply I turned to Madam Malkins and asked when my clothes would be ready for pick up." It seems that I had made a good decision to go to Hogwarts and spy. The Auror stomped off tripping on the door jam.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3—Off to Hoggy Hogwarts

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September 1st platform 9 ¾ :

I slipped through the portal with my normal appearance of long hair and the blue contact lenses. The Auror asked each male entering their name and I happily replied, "Harold Jimmy Johnson". I just love England's there is no real ID untill sixteen, a total way of evading everything. I wonder if SharpTooth can get me a driver's license with Harold Jimmy Johnson on it?

I got a compartment and put up my 'glamour' of spiky raven hair and scar and popped out my contacts. Yep ready for the bums rush, but from who I had to wait on. I had my trunk shrunk and in my pocket for a quick escape. All I had to now is pretend to be an eleven year old that has been raised as a muggle.

I wasn't very wrong I got lied to by a red-head named Ron about everywhere being full, then a blond poof comes in looking for Harry Potter but got into a shouting match with the red-head. I left and found a compartment with two girls who were chatting away. I asked if I could join them and my life at Hogwarts began.

"So what does the great Harry Potter doing slumming with us nobodies?"

Just to be as flippant as they were, "I don't know, your bodies look pretty good to me and if this is the slums then you should have seen where I just left." And gave them a huge smile and eyebrow wiggle.

Well at least I didn't get a totally cold shoulder. "So what are your favorite subjects?

The chatter went on and the chill got somewhat warmer until I was asked what I meant about the slums I just came from.

"Oh! I just left a red-head and a blond poof who decided to enter my compartment and start arguing who was better at being a bigot."

"You didn't get any names did you?" Daphne asked.

"The red head was a Ron Weasley and the blond was a Drago something or other, know them?"

The girls started giggling and gave me the impression they had been close for a long time. Daphne started, "The Malfoy's are full of themselves."

Tracey added, "Lucius was a Dark Lord supporter and has his Dark Mark."

/Scene Break/

"Potter Harry" Professor McGonagall declared and when I sat she put the hat on my head.

"Well Harry Potter under glamour, are we already trying to deceive?"

"Look hat …"

"Rest assured Mr. Potter what I see is never revealed to anyone even the head cheese, and my names Abe."

"Do I catch a bit of dislike for the exalted bearded one?" I asked.

"He is a manipulative one; he had already tried to give me instructions about you. But, rest assured I don't take orders. So back to business, I see you definitely want to be number one and will go a long way to get it. I think you are a candidate for Slytherin."

"Well that will fit in with my title of the Heir of Slytherin."

"Oh Dumbledore is going to be pissed, he ordered me to put you in Gryffindor.

"SLYTHERIN!" Abe yelled and the Great Hall went silent.

I ambled over to sit next to Daphne who was giggling like mad, "The Boy Who Lived in Slytherin, oh hell they are going to have a cow."

When Tracey joined us later I learned she had no fear of expressing herself, "Morgana I almost pee'ed myself when the hat selected Slytherin for you Harry."

The feast was full of excellent food, weird stares from the table and somebody was doing a surface scan of my poor pee brain.

We no sooner got to the common room when I had my first confrontation with the blond bigot.

"How dare you insult me on the train I am a Malfoy and …" as he was in my face I used my left fist to insure his face was a little farther away. About that time a guy I later learned was Flint pulled his wand, big mistake. My wand was in my hand and a 'stupify' hit him in the chest throwing him back a few feet. About that time the head of house pulls his wand, mistake on the adult level. He was overconfident by sending a pathetic 'expelliarmus' which I returned with a 'confringo' followed by a 'confundo' and a 'impedimenta'. He was quick and blocked the first two but got caught with the 'impedimenta' I walked over and took his wand and got my familiar jolt. "Now I am going to say this once so listen up. I don't take crap from anyone and anyone pulling a wand on me is close to committing suicide." I tossed the head of house's wand on the floor and stomped off to my bed.

I was sharing the room with Blaise Zabini and I gave him some information, "I am going to put up some wards on my bed, they are lethal so watch out ok?" I got into bed and pulled the curtains closed and put up an outer alarm ward with a very nasty inner ward. I then port-keyed to my cottage for a peaceful and safe night sleep.

Headmaster's office a couple of hours later:

Albus you got to get that kid out of here, he is dangerous. He's busted Draco's nose, stunned Flint and threw a seventh year blasting curse at me. When I went to his bed to drag him out for punishment his wards burnt my hand so bad it took Pomfrey an hour to fix it, Albus he is dangerous."

"Severus, do you think I will believe an eleven year old is doing all that you just described. I know you hated his father but…"

"Albus one last time, he's dangerous, get rid of him." Snape turned and left the office.

/Scene Break/

The next morning I port-keyed into my bed and took down the ward and headed to the common room. After a short wait Daphne and Tracey came down and we went to breakfast. They were just curious about me and how I did that to Snape. I thought it would be nice to have two good looking girls to hang around with. As luck would have it they also spent a lot of time in the library where I usually could be found. That first breakfast was more fun.

"Mr. Potter please see me in my office after breakfast." Dumbledore stated.

"Hay Snape couldn't handle the problem and had to punt it off to the head…"

"That's Professor Snape Mr. Potter." Dumbledore was pushing already.

"Nope that's someone's greasy git who's wand work could use some work." Snape would be too easy to set off and as I figured, he went for his wand.

This time his curses hit my shield which send his curse careening into the students. I sent him a 'Difindo' 'Reducto' followed by an 'expelliarmus'. While he was dealing with those I saw Dumbledork pull his wand and fire a series of spells or curses at me, this was the big time. I used a 'Defodio' to the floor in front of him and threw every curse that I could think of including an 'Expelliarmus'. I think he was surprised or just senile; he got his shields up and powerful one they were because they took a beating before they fell. He had taken all I had and was still standing I was in big doodoo! But I lucked out the last of my spells hit him knocking him backward and put his wand in my hand. I got one hell of a jolt and then I recognized the wand from the knowledge imparted.

"Well look what the leader of the light is using, the Death-Stick, The Wand of Destiny oh what irony." I yelled as I think Dumbledore is soon to be in demand from a bunch of power-hungry wizards.

I checked on Snape and found him out cold and bleeding. The school nurse was attending to the injured students that those two buffoons had injured. Not to much later a bunch of Aurors came charging into the room. So much for my breakfast.

While the Aurors were taking statements I got the big cheese of the DMLE who turned out to be half way nice.

"Mr. Potter I am Madam Bones of the DMLE and would you please explain your side of this disaster?"

"Madam Bones, first let me correct the record I am Lord Potter and fully emancipated adult. I have been here about twenty-four hours and I have been attacked by the staff several times. Attacked in an adult way on what they perceive to be an eleven year old child. Might I also direct your attention that none of my spells were directed to any of the students while all the student injuries were cause by Snape and Dumbledore spells. I am sorry that some teachers received minor collateral damage. I also believe you will find that I was drawn on first by both individuals and both individuals' curses hit my shield first before I reacted."

"Why do you believe they have animosity for you?"

"Good question that I am unable to answer. All I can attest to is Dumbledore put me with abusive muggles, he has sent Aurors to arrest me because of a law he passed to make me attend Hogwarts when he knew I have passed my OWLs or why has he presented a phony marriage contract at Gringotts?

"I must say Lord Potter that you seem to be a lot older that eleven."

"English schooling and I read a lot. The only reason I am here was to try to find a reason why they are doing this; it can't be because of my good looks."

"Well you won't have to leave too soon as they will be leaving for a while. They have broken school and Ministry rules and laws. The Board of Governors will most likely like a word with them not to mention a lot of parents. Oh, before I leave I must compliment you on the spells and curses, they are quite advanced."

"Thank you Madam Bones as I said I read a lot and most everything sticks with me. Oh! Here is Dumbledore's wand, the fabled Deathstick or Wand of Destiny do return it to him." The word was out now and I wondered how many crazies would go after him for that fabled wand.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4—Its party time

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I got a wide birth from most students especially in Slytherin house. There was a group that was definitely anti-Potter egged on by Malfoy but for now they stayed away. Daphne and I were the library book-worms along with a mousey girl from Gryffindor. I think she would have joined us if it wasn't for house rivalry egged on by Ron the Garbage disposal unit. Full or empty his mouth was a pig sty with no concept of manors.

I had devoured most of the school library and slipped into the restricted section at every opportunity. Picking up wand capabilities sometimes had startling results. I had just finished another book on wards and found a spell. When I used it I could see the wards as they twisted and flowed throughout Hogwarts. I was glad it was a temporary effect; I still needed more information on identifying which ward did what. Best not to mess with something that could bite back.

The year went smoothly after Dumbledore and Snape were gone. They hired a Professor Slughorn who did a marvelous job in potions. The only trouble was Ron the mouth and two of his bonding brothers went to the third floor which everyone was warned about staying away from. Professor Quirrel also dropped dead about the same time. The three idiots got almost a month in the hospital over the third floor venture. McGonagall was livid over whatever was on the third floor and snapped at everything that was around her.

Finally December arrived and the last day of term. The ride to the platform was happy until the platform; I had a reception committee which I will dodge from now on. I am good but there must have been twenty in the crowd and I went down after a short battle and a sneak attack from behind.

I awoke in a room with orange posters plastered all over the walls. There was a bed but I was dumped on an old army cot. My now my trunk now expanded to normal sized was dumped at the foot of the cot and my father' wand was gone. Someone had gone through my trunk and removed my money and my father's wand. I used a little wand-less magic and shrunk the trunk as I have no intention of staying, I will not be controlled like this. As I stomped down stares I was met with Dumbledore, Snape and a horde of red-heads. Dumbledore and Snape had there wands trained on me as a fat female charged at me and attempted to crush me in a hug while dragging me to a kitchen table. I sat down as the two still had their wands draw and pointed at me. Ron I recognized but there was a small red-headed girl and a set of twins also at the table who I didn't recognize.

"I have arranged for you to stay here at the Burrow for your protection this summer. I also thought that you might like to get to know your betrothed and your new family. I will return your wand when you return to Hogwarts. " Dumbledore was again playing around.

I wanted to remained silent and laugh to myself over my thoughts but I couldn't help myself, "like are you going to sit here with me the entire summer with your wands drawn?"

Snape answered part of that, "We have your wands so you can't 'apperate' and there are 'Order Members' out side to make sure you don't leave. If you try to steal a wand in the house it will do you no good as we put anti-apperation wards. Enjoy your stay Potter."

That's when the waddling Weasley Matron started…"I heard that you have not been properly taken care of" as the Weasley Matron plopped down a platter piled high with food in front of me and continued, "I want you to be sure and eat everything on that plate Youngman!"

That tore it; I slid the plate in front of Ron 'the mouth' and felt lucky I was able to get my hand back without bit marks. I picked up a piece of toast and was applying some jam to it as I said, "Eat up Ron" and then to the room at large, "I am rude, crude and will not be told what I must do, so the lot of you can bugger off!"

"YOUNGMAN...I threw down the jam covered toast and left the room. I was surprised not to get stunned or followed. I found the front door and stepped out into the bright sun. The yard appeared empty but I waved to all those I figured were under cloaks and yelled, "Don't wait up for me." and activated the necklace port-key. I thought that the necklace would have gone the way of my money pouch but the necklace was made of worthless metals so it was not worth taking. I arrive in my cottage and put in my blue contacts, dropped my 'glamour' charm and then 'floed' to Gringotts for a new and full money pouch. My next stop was the wandmaker in Knockturn Alley. After taking out my contacts and double-checked my 'glamor' and it was off to 'The Three BroomSticks' for breakfast and to be seen as Harry Potter. I wandered Hogsmeade village to get some rumors started Diagon alley would be next. I originally took the train to be with the girls and see if I would still be fugitive number one with Dumbledore's club. I think that was proven beyond a doubt.

After another identity switch I returned to the Junk Shop and paid another years rent. It was always good to have someplace to hide. I also wandered around Knockturn Alley to let everyone know that Jimmy was still around. I continued finding books and wands to absorb. I also saw red heads and the KFC club chasing after Harry Potter.

/Scene Break/

January arrived too quickly and back to school, well actually the girls were drawing me more than anything else. The returning feast was interrupted by me standing and demanding that my money pouch be returned along with my father's wand. I never saw those or my other wand either but the announcement in the Great Hall made me feel a bit better. I went as far as filling an official complaint with the school board and the DMLE. Dumbledore had too much power to be touched so my complaints remained unanswered.

I did have some fun for the first couple of days by declaring as loudly as I could in the most public places…"Sorry Professor I cannot perform as Dumbledore has stolen my wand and won't give it back."

So while the professors were probably complaining to Dumbledork I was using my new wand to cause a little mischief. I put an invisible bucket of permanent dye over the top of the gargoyle entrance to get Dumbledore when he left his office. Then there were the invisible nails in his opulent chair in the great hall. When the accusations came I pleaded innocence because I didn't have a wand. Two days later I made sure the teachers and Dumbledore saw me with a wand and when asked I stated that I left school to attain the wand. This was of course was against the rules and started a yelling match.

I thought that this all started because Dumbledore wanted me to come begging for my wands back so he could put some restrictions on me, in any case I made him mad by not doing what he wanted.

Finally June arrived and the summers break. I got invitations to Daphne and Tracey's homes for some formal parties that were going on in the summer. This time I used my port-key to leave Hogwarts, train platforms were now something that I was avoiding.

/Scene Break/

Daphne's party:

Actually Mr. Greengrass's party had all the pomp and stuck-up-ness that a room could hold. I got the good and the bad. The bad were Malfoy Sr. who decided to threaten a kid over punching his son in the nose. It progressed in a typical fashion. I said, "Bugger off before you get hurt." And his reply, "YOU snot nose kid I'll show you." He grabbed my arm to at least shake the hell out of me or maybe worse. He got the worse of it as I imbedded the dagger I carried in my waist band in his arm that was holding me. Of course he released me while cursing up a storm. I expected more but he basically left when they offered to help him fix the wound."

"Mr. Greengrass please accept my humble apologize for being involved in this interruption of you party."

"Son I haven't seen many who could put that pompous ass in his place. No apology necessary unless its to my daughter who seems to be glaring at one of us right now."

"Thank you sir and I guess I best go and get my medicine for whatever I did to her." Mr. Greengrass was laughing as he turned and started talking to another guest.

"I did not invite you here to get thrown out; I invited you to have someone to dance with!"

Now I was in trouble, "Daphne I'm sorry but I don't know how to dance." I awaited the blast but got a laugh.

"The Great Harry Potter doesn't know how to dance. Get over here and let's get your lessons started." It was a pleasant party after that, even Tracey had a comment, "You know you probably stabbed him in his Dark Mark and that's why he didn't want help."

The summer pressed on and I was beginning to believe I had read enough books to open a public library. Maybe the Hogwarts Librarian would like all these books as my spare bedroom was getting full of them. She did want them and I shrank them and sent them off piece by piece with the local owl post.

/Scene Break/

Tracey's party:

It was of course Mr. Davis's party but with a twist. It was a formal party inside and a pool party outside. Without a fight with anyone, I found Tracey teaching me how to swim which was real nice. She was beginning to fill her bathing suit nicely. Daphne's absents was curious as those two were tighter that thieves. Later I was directed to get dressed and show her my moves on the dance floor.

Unfortunately September rolled around and back to school. On arrival I ready for a full-out attack on my body, Dumbledore and Snape were back after dodging some of my accusations and law suits. Surprisingly both of them left me alone. I however was not completely lucky. I had the "I have been in love with you since I was two years old and I have a marriage contract with you. I am thrilled to be at Hogwarts with you." Ginny Weasley was now number two on the pester and annoy Harry Potter list, Ron was now number one with, "Keep you slimy dirty snake eyes of my sister bla, bla bla.

I was luckily since I was at a different table and Ron hated Slytherins, Ginny was not allowed to visit by order of Ron. That did not stop her from accosting me when I walked by the Gryffindor table. About the gazillionth time she stopped me I was just fed up with her…and then I felt it and I reacted.

I stunned Ginny and quickly turned and stunned Ron as he would be all mouth and stupid enough to draw his wand, besides it felt good. I levitated her school bag and dumped the contents on the floor. I could feel it calling me so I levitated a black diary over to in front of Dumbledore and asked, "Doesn't this school have wards against dark items? That is darker than the inside of a whale's belly."

Dumbledore put his wand away which he was probably going to use on me and reached for the diary.

"I wouldn't do that if I was you unless you want an extra guest in your head." I added.

/Scene Break/

I really would have left a long time ago because all this stupidity was just annoying and not going anywhere. This school is one of the most dangerous places I have ever seen, well may be my crib a few years back was more dangerous. What kept me here was Daphne and Tracey. They are filling out really nice and my hormones are killing me.

During the end of the third year I got dragged into an empty class room. I like Slytherin girls as they are upfront with you. In this case I was pushed to the wall and told, "Harry its time to make up your mind me or Tracey as you girlfriend. Stop being a stupid boy and open your eyes."

"Daphne, Tracey, I have opened my eyes and to tell you the truth I like both of you and I couldn't decide on one over the other if my life depended on it. Besides I do like what I see you're both gorgeous."

"Ok, we discussed this already." Daphne was talking and I was thinking. They have discussed this already, what already?

"So you have to understand we are not pushing you" No just against the wall right now.

"Girls think ahead and we become girlfriend with the hope of becoming wives." Oh, I think I am in trouble.

"Since you are Lord Potter you can have a wife and a secondary wife." Every boys dream multiple girls in love with them…

"Are you listening Potter?" I nod I don't think my mouth could work right now.

"So we have decided that if you can't choose between us you have two girlfriends now and if it all works out Tracey want the second wife position." I don't believe I said…

"Oh no problems I am also Lord Slytherin." I got a kiss on each cheek, they locked arms with me and I got hauled down to the Great Hall for dinner. I wonder if there is a wand around to help explain what just happened.

/Scene Break/

A Staff meeting a week before end of term:

"Albus there is something definitely wrong with the Potter boy." McGonagall stated.

"I've already told Dumbledore back in first year and he just ignores me.' Snape sneered.

"He is good isn't he?" Flitwick chirped.

"What are you all talking about? He is good with fighting but that was luck and caught us unexpectedly." Albus was justifying his defeat and not seeing the facts and definitely not listening.

"Albus he just does the class work like he is bored yet his work is perfect. I see no indication of the capabilities required of being an animagus or being able to 'apperate' at his age yet he has licenses for both."

"That's another thing Madam Rosmerta has reported that he is there on a constant basis with his two girlfriends. How does he get there or better yet out of Hogwarts and what's with two girl friends? Professor McGonagall prudish thoughts were leaking through.

"Lets get to the bottom of this, Severus call some elves to find Mr. Potter and have him escorted here immediately."

Meanwhile:

The three friends had been dating seriously for a good while and the three had worked out schedules in their boyfriend girlfriend relationship. Better put I was told where to be with whom, you could not kiss two girlfriends at the same time. I was actually enjoying being directed by the girls. From studying in the library with both, then one left and the other dragged me to a broom closet. Later in the common room the other girl took over and snogged me senseless. If it wasn't for the library time I would never get any of the homework done. There was no doubt about one thing, the girls were in charge.

The search was on but Harry Potter was with Daphne and Tracey in his cottage watching TV and drinking butterbeirs. Later the girls would bed down in the spare room which was now void of books. Therefore the ongoing search for Harry Potter was not successful and since there were wards up on his bed the teachers decided to arrive early in the morning to confront one Harry Potter.

Blaise Zabini just shook his head and left, the teachers were in for a surprise in the morning.

The next morning early:

The teachers arrived and were seated on Dumbledore transfigured chairs. The elves were bringing tea and scones, it looked like a theatre where all were awaiting the rise of the curtains for act one of a play.

As the curtains of the bed slid open the sound of coughs, chokes and porcelain cups hitting stone floors followed by, "Mr. Potter, Miss Greengrass, explain yourselves, Miss Davis?". They all ended up in the Headmasters office with the girl's parents being called. Then the theatre intermission got started in the Headmasters office, the silence was deafening and the stares menacing.

I never thought of parents just soft lips and feeling great. Now my head was spinning with thoughts of being drawn and quarter or put in Azkaban. I was so evolved in worry that I didn't notice that both set of parents arrived at the same time.

Mr. Greengrass nodded towards me and said, "Is that him?" and both girls nodded. Then the calliope of accusations and disappointed teachers interspersed with threats of punishment.

Mr. Davis shouted "ENOUGH!" and then, Headmaster if you have a conference room or classroom we might borrow?"

"You may use this room as I should be part of …" Mr. Greengrass said, "No thank you headmaster this will be a family discussion, so that room is where?"

Mr. Davis turned to me and said, "You too young man." About then I think my heart dropped down to my stomach.

The Headmaster was determined to be part of the talk that was to take place until…Lord Greengrass stated, "Listen we can take this to my office in Diagon Alley if you persist, you are not invited Headmaster."

Once in the room Mr. Greengrass put up a silencing charm. "I hope you know what you have bitten off young man."

That brought both girls to my side and forcing me down into a chair I didn't see before the two girls sat on the arms of the chair and leaned into my shoulders. Then they started giggling. "The great Harry Potter is scared!" giggled Daphne.

I went to respond and just choked on the words. That started them all laughing.

Lord Potter the girls have already been telling me what they will do and what I will agree to so just relax. We men have little to say about such matters." That got him a slap to the shoulder from his wife.

I just stumbled out, "Just call me Harry."

Mr. Davis then started about the contents of the marriage contracts. That statement made me look at the girls.

"You do plan on marring us don't you Harry dear?" Tracey purred.

"Yes but contracts?"

"Yes Harry, it's not our style but contracts do tend to stop people from muddying up the area. I understand you are emancipated?" Mr. Davies said.

I nodded as a bride price was determined and the contracts were drawn but before they were finished I put my two knuts in to the works. "I would like Daphne to be Lady Potter and Tracey to be Lady Slytherin." That got me kisses from both sides and laughter from all the parents.

"You do like to stir up the waters I see. A half-blood as Lady Slytherin will piss the purebloods off to no ends.

"Well don't take this wrong but all his pure-blood followers might like to know the Voldemort was a half-blood himself."

"You're kidding" Lord Greengrass gasped.

"I did some research on the bum, I thought I would like to know a little about who tried to kill me. He was born Tom M Riddle.

"WHAT! I knew him here in school! We were in the same house." Gasped Lord Greengrass as he sought a chair.

"I think we could all do with a drink to celebrate." I stated and pulled out my port-key.

/Scene Break/

While Dumbledore sat waiting outside the door to the classroom determined to find out what was going on, so he could use the information for his own good…the newly betrothed and family were tipping a glass or two in The Three Broomsticks. It was decided that they would send a Greengrass elf to collect everyone's belongings at Hogwarts. McGonagall would be notified by letter to prepare private quarter for Lord Potter Slytherin and his betrothed for the coming year. While another round was being ordered there were sinister things being initiated which again would affect Harry Potter and his new family.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5-Summer, what a wonderful time

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One thing about the wizard or magical world was what you wanted you can usually get. Lord AssHalum wanted to marry his fourteen year old cousin so a little money passes hands and there is a new law. The law is soon forgotten. Someone wants to make marriage easier so an addition is passed to contract laws. So it went so when a change here or an addition there. When making a contract you had best make sure that there isn't an old law or that someone has slipped in an "on your life" clause. SharpKnife told me that this was a simple contract but this would be considered us being betrothed. Betrothed in the magical world was the same as married.

We got together and we decided…err…I was told that the fancy wedding would be held after school was done and children would be after that but everything else was optional.

We spent two weeks visiting with the girls parents with a promise to return to see them and then it was, PARTY TIME! We hopped a plane to Casliari Airport in Sardinia rented a car and grabbed a small quaint hotel that was located in Santa Caterina di Pittinuri, near the Sinis Peninsula, the hotel was a good base from which to explore the rugged coastline of Sardinia. The city of Oristano was close. Plush is not Italy unless you want to cough up 6700.00 US a night so we settled in on small and quaint. The place overlooked the sea and had a nice circular pool.

When we arrived I was prepared to rent a couple of rooms but I got vetoed even though I warned them that I slept au naturel. That night I got company in bed by two very sexy girls. They were in nighties but almost see through baby doll styled. The light sheet gave away that I noticed. They slid in, snuggled up and fell asleep. It took a while for me to calm down.

We returned two weeks before school tanned and enjoying life.

/Scene Break/

The girls wanted their NEWTs with good scores so we were returning to school. If I had an inkling of what trouble this year held I would have dragged the girls off to a hidden bunker.

September 1st Platform 9 ¾:

With our 'glamor' charms in place we had just entered the platform when the pink haired girl in Auror robes approached us and "I am Auror Tonks and this is Auror Dawlish we are here to escort you to Hogwarts."

"Why is the DMLE sending Aurors to escort us?" I was curious,

"No time to talk let's get on the train." Dawlish ordered.

"No, not until you tell us why the escort or show a warrant." I found this odd to say the least.

"Tonks said the magic words, "Dumbledore wants you to be escorted so let's get moving." As she shove me towards the train.

When the two super Aurors under Dumbledore orders entered the compartment I hit them with a nasty petrifaction spell. We left them were they fell. I of course molested their wands for the shock I usually got. After closing the compartment door we headed to a different compartment and settled in. Looked out the window I saw Professor McGonagall, Snape and a few more familiar faces on the platform. The Professors never monitored the platform that was for the head girl and boy. Dumbledore was at it again, but why?"

The train got underway when Ron the mouth shows up and wants to join us. Sorry Weasley all full up, there is room about five compartments down on your right, don't think the two there will mind your company." While he was sputtering I closed the door in his face. Not half an hour later Draco shows up. Hay Scarhead…" I interrupted his mantra with my wand between his eyes, "leave or die Draco".

"Your…" I hit him with the same petrifaction spell. His two goons carted him off. Five minutes later McGonagall shows up demanding know what I had done.

"Listen Professor this is not a cursing booth nor an information centre, talk to the idiots that complained because I don't give a damn."

"Detention Mr. Potter!"

Well she was not going to take that but for some reason a cushion of air pushed her back and the door slid shut. The door was now shut, sealed and silenced, I had enough with visitors. She stomped off after a couple of tries to remove my magic.

"Who do you think was stupid enough to make those two Perfects?" asked Daphne.

"Lord help us, the two biggest egomaniacs in the school and someone gives them a power badge, heaven help us!" Tracey groaned.

"Are you going to serve the detention?" Daphne giggled.

"Not a chance, school doesn't start untill the welcoming feast."

I penned a note to Madam Bones with the name of the book that would have the counter curse for the petrifaction spell I had used. I explained what had happened and asked her if I had to obey Aurors being directed by Dumbledore. I figured that should stir the cauldron a bit.

The carriages deposited us at the front door and we were thrilled to find Snape waiting for us.

"Potter where are the Aurors?"

"Taking a nap on the train last saw them." I said with a big smile which usually made Snape more grumpy than normal.

"You are to report to the Headmasters office immediately." I was thinking that if I were to go that I would miss the feast. Dumbledore always started the feast so he would not be in his office for some time.

"No thanks, have him make an appointment"

Snape drew his wand and fell to the stone entranceway. The girls had drifted behind him and twin stunner spells ended that discussion. We left him laying there and enter Hogwarts with the rest of the students. As we entered the Great Hall I thought I saw surprise on Dumbledore's face for an instant. And then the bull started by the master slinger of Dragon dung, Dumbledore. There was to be a big tournament called the Tri-Wizard tournament and we the greatest were going to be the host school. I saw trouble all over this but we would have to wait until it got started.

"Daphne suddenly started, "five…four…three…two…one…"

"Mr. Potter please see me in my office immediately."

"Dam", said Tracey as she handed over a sickle to Daphne. "Suckers bet but he's got to give up saying that sooner or later."

As we ignored him and walked up to Professor McGonagall, "Professor where are our private quarter?"

"I'm sorry Mr. Potter but there will be no private quarters for you."

"Not a problem we will be contactable at the Leaky Cauldron. We shall utilize them as our school quarters as you'all can not follow your own bylaws." I took out the port-key and we disappeared. I side along 'slid' the girls from our cottage to Gringotts.

"SharpKnife, do you ever sleep?"

"Yes with or without your help, what's the problem I was just heading down under for the night."

"Dumbledore of course, could you get or make us some port-keys, dummy is going to try and confiscate this one for sure."

"And the next port-key you arrive with, let me call our research people in and see what they say, you are paying so we are happy to help." He said with a Goblin smile.

It was not the problem of making a port-key, just tap an object with your wand and say 'portus' the problem was keeping the object from Dumbledore's confiscation. The Goblin's made legal port-keys and that would keep the Ministry off our backs.

They discussed this for about an hour in gobbledygook and then asked for our port-key.

"Harry this is going to be fun. The only way he will be able to stop you is with an anti-port-key ward. What we are going to do is fake him out. This is your original port-key, it has been modified to only take you to the boundary of his port-key ward. We figure that will be the front door or you will have to walk from the front gate. Now here is a ring for each of you and will only negate the port-key wards for your new port-keys. They will also bring you here to my office in an emergency if you tap the ring with your wand.

Finally here is a new deluxe invisible wand holster which is your new port-key and will negate the wards when used when you are wearing the rings. These port-keys take you from Hogwarts to your cottage and back. Please be careful where you use these as we don't normally sell port-keys with this type of capabilities. I think this will be more than funny with him trying to keep you at Hogwarts under his conditions and losing."

The girls port-keyed us to the cottage in Hogsmeade where we changed to some more suitable clothing. After a stroll some kisses and a nice meal in a tiny restaurant we went back to the cottage for the evening.

At Hogwarts"

Unbeknownst to the cottage residence Madam Bones was yelling at Dumbledore and demanding that Harry Potter be produced to provide testimony. Dumbledore could not produce Harry which led Madam Bones, also a member of the Board of Governors, to make some serious threats.

"Amelia I assure you Harry will be here in the morning for breakfast as class schedules are passed out at that time."

"He had better be here or there is going to be trouble Dumbledore!"

Amelia Bones was known to be fair and strict but most knew she was never to be crossed, the result could be a hazard to your well-being. So on the next morning Amelia the head of the DMLE with two Aurors was waiting in front of the main door of Hogwarts with Dumbledore and the rest of the Board of Governors.

Five minutes before breakfast started Harry Potter and two girls appeared by port-key.

"Mr. Potter as Head of the DMLE I have a few questions for you. First let me have that port-key. Good it's a legal port-key."

"Let me have that Amelia as we don't allow them here at Hogwarts" Dumbledore said.

More interested in what she was doing, she absent-mindedly handed the port-key to Dumbledore.

"Secondly what are you three doing off school grounds?"

"Our esteemed Headmaster refused to grant private quarters to myself as a lord and his betrothed. As you may know that is in violation of school policy. Since I will not let my betrothed live in barrack type quarters, I secured lodging off campus for the school year."

"The third problem is why you petrified two of my Aurors?"

"While they stated they were Aurors they also stated that they were under the orders of Dumbledore. At that point I feared that we might be in the middle of a nefarious plot as you are the only one to direct Aurors, if I a correct?"

Amelia turned to start yelling at Dumbledore but he was gone. When the group entered the Great Hall to confront the Deputy Head, McGonagall stated that Dumbledore had an emergency ICU meeting to attend. Private quarters were assigned and Amelia stomped off to deal with two Aurors.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6—The Goblet and a drink

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Dumbledore returned for the arrival of the other schools with his twinkling eye and arms spread wide in welcome. After magnanimously receiving each school and displaying the trophy, the 'goblet of fire' was uncovered. With the greatest gestures and huge smile he sat down... his magnificent chair produced a loud sound like a whoopee cushion or one hell of a fart. My prank war was still on track.

"Did any of those charges he was facing get prosecuted or were they just dropped?" Tracey said in a loud voice.

"Apparently not, friends in high places one would guess." I was also not happy he was back.

"Do you think he pulled a Malfoy and bribed his way out of trouble?" Daphne joined in the conversation.

"No, I think not, not the leader of the light." I was being as sarcastic as I could as not a word had been heard over all the charges.

I wasn't taking any chances and while Dumbledore said that there was an age line around the Goblet, I added a few of my personal wards as soon as I could. My ward prohibited entry slips being put into the Goblet of Fire with the names of; Harry James Potter, Harold Jimmy Johnson, Daphne Greengrass or Tracey Davis. The Goblet was going to choose the champions on Halloween night the same holiday that all my problems had started. The next day I had another brilliant idea and put another ward on the Goblet, the name Harry Potter could not exit the Goblet of Fire.

The tournament I was not worried about but the girl's threat to kill me if I entered had me scared to death. I laid another prank, I put an invisible quicksand trap behind the podium that Dumbledore loved so much. Unfortunately he got himself out with a flip of his wand.

/Scene Break/

The Great Hall was all ready full of students when the ceremony started. The whispers over who would be chosen buzzed in the air. The Weasley twins were making book on whose name would come out of the Goblet.

"You didn't put your name in, DID YOU?" Daphne look promised severe damage to my body if I gave any answer but, "No dear."

"You can't blame us you know, if its bad you get involved up to your pretty little eyes." Tracey giggled.

With fanfare the Goblet lit and spit out a piece of paper choosing Victor Krum, then Fleur Delecor was chosen and then Cedric Diggory name came out as the Hogwarts champion.

I have no idea how they did it but I got the feeling someone, somehow, got my name into that accursed Goblet. The flames rose and change colors as it did at the choosing of each of the other champions. This time however the entire cup started to glow and suddenly it just melted into a puddle. That is saying something for a wooden cup.

I was so excited that this was over I stood, fist in the air, and shouted, "ALL RIGHT (and at the last second) Diggery".

/Scene Break/

The weather was getting colder for the students for their Hogsmeade visit after the champion selection. That did not deter the student's enthusiasm. Whether walking or taking the carriage the bundled up student were in high spirits, Honeydukes and The Three Broomsticks awaited their money. Daphne wanted a quiet meal at the restaurant down the street but Tracey wanted the noise of The Three Broomsticks. We decided to do both. The meal was excellent and then a long walk to The Three Broomsticks helped work off our indulgent. We were headed for a few drinks before retracing our path and heading back to the castle.

We found the place packed with students as we feared but we finally found a table in the back of the room. Our drinks were just severed when the evening was ruined for a lot of people. Ron the mouth with eight other Griff's came to our table and started mouthing off. Ron mantra before was "stay away from my sister" but he is now ranting about breaking the marriage contract by my two betrothing slimy snakes.

Where he got his information was irrelevant but his rant was long and loud and had the room's attention. I was pissed at the insults and the disrespect to my girls.

"Well as a pure blood Mr. Weasley you have been trained in pure blood rights and protocols. If you perceive to have been so wronged by me then you have the option of demanding an honor duel. Where as I as Head of House can declare a blood feud. What do you wish to do, Mr. Weasley?"

Being the upstanding idiot that he was he drew his wand and fired off a cutting curse. That signaled his group to join in or they got lost, most joined in. If they felt safe with a two to one against us or that two were my girls they made their second big mistake. Did anyone think that while I was training that I would not include my wives? Did the idiots not think that my wives were not learning the same thing at school that they were learning? Ergo we wiped the floor with simple shield charms mixed in with 'Confundo', 'incarcerous' and 'Stupify'.

This would actually be fun but Weasley could not take being bested and after a couple of his group hit the floor he and his two buddies released several cutting and blasting curses, the Exploding curses did the most property damage. We were undamaged but before we could knock them all out and tie them up they had caused severe injuries to other students in the room. Afterwards Tracey 'floed' for Madam Pomfrey, I 'floed' for the DMLE and requested that Arthur Weasley come with them. Daphne was already assisting some of the downed students. I ensured that the uninjured idiots were no longer a threat and piled them in a corner.

Madam Bones responded and brought several Aurors, I noticed the pink haired girl in the group.

"Madam Bones I wish you to conduct your investigation and once you have concluded it and reached a conclusion I wish you to witness my talk with Arthur Weasley."

We had used non lethal spell like Confundo, Impedimenta, Expelliarmus and Stupify, besides our shields charms. All the injuries and serious damage was the attackers fault. Amelia confirmed that in front of Arthur Weasley.

"Mr. Weasley I am Lord Potter, your child has defamed my ladies in my presence and when presented with the option of declaring an honor duel on myself he felt it necessary to open an unprovoked volley of curses causing this damage and injuries. I am a hairs breath from declaring a blood feud between our houses."

Arthur looked to Amelia and she added, "Lord Potter is correct in his statements and his capabilities of calling a feud."

"Mr. Weasley I have no wish to injure you and your family but Ron has got to learn a lesson. Now beyond his liability for the damages I want him to receive refresher training on dealing with Head of Houses and their ladies. I want him to understand he is not to speak to us unless it is school business and if he cannot control his mouth I will. Are these requests acceptable to you?

"Yes Lord Potter."

"Good, let us just help clean up the mess and get on with our lives."

Daphne laughed, "You were listening to all those lessons we gave you."

"Yes dear."

"Tracey was trying to cause a stir, "What would you do if he had refused?"

"Probably begged for forgiveness, the only thing left was to call Ron as an indentured slave for our house. Do you want him around all the time?"

"Morgana! What a thought!" Daphne choked.

/Scene Break/

The tournament was a death trap waiting to happen and it did. I thought I could enjoy watching the dragons, maybe?

The girls demanded we go, so we went. Since I was there I got curious on what wards were in play and a simple wave of my wand and they all became visible for me. I was shocked that the only ward was a fire ward between the students and the dragons. A fire ward only stopped fire; you could walk thought it and not even know the ward was there.

The champions all got singed or burnt in some ways. Krum used a curse on the dragon's eye and it stomped its own eggs into a scrambled mess. When the dragon saw what had transpired it went berserk. Flames were directed at everything it saw, mostly the students in the stands and the dragon handlers. Being curious of the effect on the ward I did another simple wand wave and I panicked. I started to dragged the girls to Hogwarts but first I put on a 'Sonorus' charm and told the students to calmly evacuate the stands and return to Hogwarts as the wards were falling. Some left, some ignored the warning, and then the Dragon let loose another stream of fire at the students and the ward fell. That's when the panic started as some of the fire hit the canopy and banners over the stands. The Dragon ripped out the chains securing it to the ground; it took flight and let loose another stream of fire as it passed over the stands. St. Mungo was full that night with burn victims. It took two days to capture the dragon.

The Second task:

The Headmaster approached the podium and addressed the Great Hall, "Please in an orderly fashion head down to the lake for the beginning of the second task. The three champions await your arrival."

I offered my hand to each girl to help them rise and they locked arms with me for the stroll to the lake.

The girls and I had no idea what the second task consisted of and I personaly was not upset by that lack of knowledge. When we got to the far side of the lake we found bleachers and took seats at the bottom where my feet were firmly on the ground. Most of the students were fighting for the top seats to see the event.

A wizard named Bagman informed the spectators that the champions were to rescue something that they would sorely miss from the bottom of the lake. The rumor that was circulating among the students was that even the champions did not know what was down there. Watching the task was boring, all there was to watch was the giant squid trying to mooch food from the students. The students like to watch it snatch thrown food out of the air. That is where most of the breakfast toast went in the mornings. Those students that threw rocks at the squid usually got them back because the squid had a good right arm or two.

Then the dung hit the fan and mass panic erupted. First getting out of the water was Diggery helping Fleur out of the water. She starts screaming in French and English and then charges at Dumbledore and tried to scratch his eyes out.

"You old fool the Veela and Merpeople have been at war for hundreds of years and you put a Veela under their control, they are going to kill my little sister!"

So while the teachers are pulling Fleur off of Dumbledore Diggery states that they had run him off at spear point and captured Krum. While this may have been sorted out in a hundred years or so... the Mermen arrived. Everyone knew they were upset as they sent a volley of spears into the people by the lake. I grabbed the girls and pulled them by the side of the bleaches as the stampede started.

I was mumbling to myself but I think the girls heard me, "Here is where I try to do good and get blamed for the entire second task fiasco." I then pointed my wand at the giant squid who was still watching just off shore and yelled, 'Refrenare animum lolligo' (mind control of the squid) and prayed. I had directed the squid to bring the human hostages to shore.

The next think I knew the Mermen had resurfaced and started hurling more spears. I didn't even think, I just yelled 'Flammis Aeternitate' (Flames of Eternity). When the flames cleared there were numerous bodies floating near the shoreline. Dumbledore dropped his shields protecting those left on the shore and looked as if he was going to come after me but the squid had returned with the hostages. They were pulling the hostages to shore as Hagrid charged into the water as the squid had a spear in one of its tentacles. If they had not had enough one of the Mermen tried a sneak attack on Hagrid as he was bandaging the squid's tentacles. Hagrid grabbed the Merman and flung him into the bleachers where it lay motionless. The girls grabbed my arms and led me to our quarters. The announcement at breakfast the next morning not to venture near the lake was considered redundant.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 - The third task:

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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners i.e. J.K. Rawlings, etc. The original characters and plot are the property of the author i.e. J.K. Rawlings, work is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Not for sale or profit but hopefully a new wrinkle in the continuing tale.

Dept of Mysteries:

I loose again, the wives insist that they will stay in school for their entire education. My suggestion of tutors almost got me couch time. So in the attempt to keep peace and harmony within the family I agreed to make Dumbledore happy and stay in school. This got several pillows thrown at me and "Your suppose to make us happy!"

The Deatheaters showing at the Cannons league game had us worried as the Cannon's almost won. The brazen attack may have influenced the girls to stay where everyone said was the safest place in England. The only interesting thing about the attack was that the dark mark was sent into the air by Ron Weasley's wand. For a so-called 'light' family they sure were involved with Deatheaters and dark magic quite a bit.

Assuming that nothing goes wrong I just have to put up with Draco, Ron, Snape and Dumbledore, piece of cake. Krum has been dating the bookworm Hermione so they were locked away in the library. There was one funny incident when Ron opened his mouth and insulted Hermione and Krum flattened him right there in the Great Hall. Draco has left us alone but has the Junior Deatheaters forming up like a club in Slytherin House. Outside of the common room he just runs his mouth. I know he is recruiting for his club but unless Voldemort takes over the world Draco won't make much of a leader for Deatheaters. Snape is Snape and Dumbledore still has this weird interest in me.

/Scene Break/

"Attention students, will students interested in viewing the third task please comely head to the Quittage pitch and find a seat in the bleachers." Dumbledore instructs. the Great Hall.

"We find the bleachers and I again get us seated with my feet firmly planted on the ground. This gets us a view of a twelve-foot hedge. The students on the top seating are not seeing much either. It appears we are all there to hear a blow-by-blow from some announcer. I again check the wards on the maze and find more wards that I could count. They didn't want anyone to fly over, cut through, 'apperate' or just about anything you could think of... a serious death trap.

"Thrilling isn't it just?" I was bored and not paying attention. "Did they say a griffin?" I got hushed and my shoulders pushed by both girls.

The girls are always cold but sitting here doing nothing is not helping. Both of the girls were snuggled up with their hands in my robes to keep them warm. I so bored that I am thinking crazy thoughts, like I am glad that they can't put their cold feet in my robes, now those are cold.

The announcer goes crazy and yells, "Diggory is racing for the cup, and he's going to win. YES! He grabs the cup…that's when it got noisy around the stands as the cup was a port-keys and it took him into the winners circle.

I caught out of the corner of my eye Madeye tossing something at us but I was too entangled with the girls to do much. I did finally got my wand out as the item hit us, it was a port-key from the jerk at my navel.

Knowing this was not a pre-paid vacation I had a shield up the instant we landed. We were in a graveyard. The girls followed my lead with their shields which made a strong barrier in front of us. I hoped that this was not a surprise birthday party as I started unloading as fast as I could with the most dangerous curses that I knew. I opened with…'tela argenti' (darts of silver) for everyone and the werewolves. 'Per mortem mille cultri' (Death by a 1000 knives) which went over well with the bad guys and girls. I was cutting into about ten Deatheaters surrounding what I took for Voldemort. The 'calore lique Faciet' caught one and he screamed for a while while he melted by the heat curse that did didn't leave much but a smoldering heap. The girl shields were still holding but barely, and I was reaching into my reserves when I got off one 'fulgur desuper' (lighting from above) at Voldemort. This caused a blinding light, an exsplosion and a large hole in the ground. As the smoke cleared the Deatheaters and Voldemort were all gone. The DMLE stated later that I didn't get Voldemort.

/Scene Break/

"Harry your pensive memory identified a number of the Deatheaters, however Fudge says the snakelike thing was not Voldemort but just another Deatheater. You do have him in a sweat we identified Peter Petigrew who we thought was dead. That brings a question how Sirius Black could be in Azkaban for killing him. Macnair was an employee of the Ministry and Malfoy was an advisor to Fudge. Fudge is putting a lid on this whole thing. He is going to try and get the media to focus on you by charging you with the murder of all the Mermen in the second task."

"See girls I told you, we need to disappear and let Fudge handle this whole thing."

"No you are not going to squirm out of going back to Hogwarts." Tracey declared

"When we finish Hogwarts then we will find a nice island in the Caribbean." Daphne stated.

/Scene Break/

No matter how hard I tried I lost the argument and we were now on the train to Hogwarts. Snape of course was there to harass the students as they entered the castle. I no sooner entered the Great Hall when:

"Mr. Potter please see me in my office immediately."

I reluctantly did so to find I was to be escorted to the Ministry and the Minister who was to decide about the charges of frying a few aggressive Mermen.

There was no reason to argue they wouldn't listen anyway so we were off to the Ministry. Professor McGonagall was assigned the task to take me and insure I arrived at the Ministers office. She led the way thru the 'floe' and once she removed all the soot she told me, "I don't want you wondering off, you will follow me to the Ministers office and keep quiet!" stated in her strict and grumpy manner. I had the urge to stick my tongue out at her but resisted.

I continually wonder, "Why me?" if something is going to happen it usually heads my direction. Why do I usually have keep my eyes open? Why can't I just wander like most people in a blissful daze? This time I must have been in that blissful daze as I was caught unaware. We were walking down a long hallway with me a step or two behind the Professor. Suddenly this huge hand is around my mouth and I am being lifted and pulled backwards into a room. The panel slides close and a quiet voice says "I mean you no harm, up ahead there is a trap set for you, follow me if you wish to survive this day."

Professor McGonagall had a strange feeling like Harry was not following her and it was confirmed when she turned around. After a quick search of the hall that had no doors she back tracking in her search. She finally gave up and returned to notify Dumbledore.

"Albus it's like he vanished, one second I could feel him behind me and the next he was gone."

"Did you check all the room in the hallway?"

"That's what's even weirder; there were no doors or rooms in that hall. He couldn't have moved that fast to leave. I even did a 'Homenum Revelio' in case he slipped under an invisibility cloak, nothing.

"Sorry son I had Mike pick you up, I am Saul Croaker and we are in the Department of Mysteries. There has been a trap set for you on the Ministers floor, we are investigating the who and why now. So please make yourself comfortable while I check this out."

I should have been worried but they didn't try to hurt me nor did they take my wand. I decided to wait and see what happens. After what seemed forever I decided to look for someone to tell me what's going on, surly it could not be taking this long. I opened the door to the office and stepped into a circular room with doors encircling the entire room. I started a door opening quest only to find all the doors I tried were locked except for three doors. The first to open made me curious what was inside so I opened the door and like a fool I just stepped into… weird!

The room had a desk a chair and a book on a desk. Since the place was boring I turned to leave and found the door locked. After several unlocking spells I figured I was stuck for a while and sat down. Boredom again struck so I opened the book and started reading. I am now happy that I did my wandering and started reading as it was informative. I should have known better as this was the Dept of Mysteries and everything here was probably weird, dark and dangerous. I know I'm stupid but I must be the cat that curiosity got too.

Somewhere in my travels I must have picked up a wand that belonged to someone on the Wizengamot because the book started at the Wizengamot founding and proceeded with all the laws and clauses to this very minute in time. I completed the book quickly but another book replaced the first. Spell and curses I knew about became clear in their construction and performance. This became worrisome very quickly, it seemed that all I had to do was open a book and start reading and I had completed the reading of that book. I dragged myself away from the table this had to stop. Stepping back I saw an orb appear on the table where the books had appeared. Damn my curiosity, I picked it up and it faded as I held it in my hand. A voice sounded in the room, "A small token of our appreciation for your quest of knowledge." The door clicked open and I beat a hasty retreat.

Now I was back in the circular room and afraid to touch any of the doors. A second later one of the doors clicked open and I was relieved to see Croaker and his office.

"Where have you been? Croaker asked.

"In a room with a book, a really strange room."

"The library, you should feel privileged as very few people have ever been able to enter that room. However we do not have much time, the attack was a ruse to delay you from arriving at court room ten and your trial. Madam Bones has delayed the trial but we must hurry."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 – The trial

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As we rushed to the trial room I made sure to mention that there must be a giant mistake as I was only here to discuss the charges not be tried.

We entered the room I got four Aurors and a front row seat or better known as the accused chair. There was Fudge sitting at a raised bench along with eight other trial judges. They were quite intimidating as they stared down on me while not looking at all friendly.

"Harry James Potter you are accused of the unlawful death of six Mermen by curse or curses of black magic. How do you plea? Fudge was apparently pleased with himself in presenting the charges that normally would be done by the DMLE. As I stood to answer Dumbledore charges into the courtroom and declared he will be representing me in this trial.

"Dumbledore you are not representing me, you will never represent me, just leave you old goat." I was not impressed nor happy with his presents.

"I'm afraid as your guardian I must insist."

"Then I Lord Potter do charge you with attempted line theft, Mr. Dumbledore. Will someone remove this old goat so I can make my plea?"

"You're no Lord and definitely no adult" screeched some toad looking woman dressed in pink with a pink bow on her head.

"Order shouted Minister Fudge! You all will stay quiet or I will have this room cleared. Now let's hear your plea."

"I Lord Potter, Slytherin, Gryffindor declare that this body has no jurisdiction over me based on Act II of the charter of the Wizengamot, clause five also applies along with your 'non-human creatures act'. I declare myself not guilty."

That started the yelling, screeching and general confusion. They fought over things for the rest of the day with clerks running in and out checking facts and looking up old texts. I sat there looking as bored as I could.

It seems the books in the Mystery of Magic room had imparted the knowledge that I needed in this kangaroo court. It seems that when the four founders established the Wizengamot they put in some protections. A founder or their heirs could only be judged by the other founders or their direct heirs and it took two to agree on a guilty charge. It was one of those old laws that never got changed. The Mermen were classified as sub-human so could be killed any time without repercussions. While this was not good law it was wizard law and quite insane.

The best part came when everyone filed out to the atrium to leave the ministry. That optical delusion that Fudge said didn't exist was standing there with ten Deatheaters. Facing Voldemort were eight old geezers from the Wizengamot, Dumbledore, myself and Fudge the terrified. The Aurors were somewhere else waiting for lunch or playing cards. Actually everyone backed up in their fighting giving the great leader of the light a chance to have at Voldemort. The fight lasted two seconds and Dumbledore was knocked on his ass with a spot on curse. Rather than running his mouth Voldemort turned and sent Avada Kedavra' straight at me. My wand was pointed at a Deatheater that I was fighting on my right; Voldemort was on my left, all I could do was try to put up a wand-less shield. I threw my left arm straight out towards Voldemort knowing I was going to die but at the same time wanting to hurt him.

Before I could try and cast a sheild spell a bolt of lightning flew from the palm of my hand and obliterated the 'Avada Kedavra' curse. This loud bang stopped just about everyone from the shock; it was unheard of to stop that curse. I know this is not the nicest thought but I pushed my arm out again and thought "die you Bas#&$#" another bold of lightning flew from my palm and hit Voldemort flinging him backwards and sending the smell of burnt flesh around the area. He and his minions disappeared and I saw dancing stars before my eyes and felt quite light headed.

I was one second from passing out as I was being led away to a chair. "Here drink this it's a pepper-upper potion, you seem to have used up your share of magic for the day." Croaker said.

As I realized I was no longer in the Atrium I said, "Thanks for getting me out of there or they would find some other trouble to dump me into."

"I was wondering if you could help us out. We would like to see how you got that shocking personality and in exchange let you have access to some information."

"You going to carve me up to find out how I work?" I really wasn't joking.

"We would just like to observe and some minor tests. One test will be the doors, you have already gotten into one door and we would like to see how many others you can get access to. As I said before very few people can get access to even one door."

"Sure why not I have some work to do at Gringotts which will take some time so let me know when you need me and we can play magical doors."

"Sounds great, you will be added to our secure 'floe' list. All you need to do is say 'Mystery of Magic Department'. Let's say ten am tomorrow?"

"Sounds great to me, see you then." I departed via the 'floe' to Gringotts, I had some plans to arrange.

/Scene Break/

"SharpKnife in my many titles is there any property attached to any of them?"

"Quite a few, what do you have on your mind."

"I want to see them all and where they are located. I need a hideaway here in England."

I could not believe I had that much property all sitting around. I found a few that met my plans of a place for my family. One in England, a place in America and one in France would be a start and enough to check out for now.

"SharpKnife could you have one of you employee's escort me to these three places. They look interesting as they are all muggle properties."

"Sure, would tomorrow afternoon be ok?"

"Fine but one other question, what is that listing that is all fuzzy and unreadable?"

"That is one of your empty properties that is under a 'Fidelius Charm'.

"I am only interested in one of the three I have, tear down that 'Fidelius Charm' and put it with the rest of the properties on the for sale block except the cottage in Hogsmeade Village I'll keep that also.

"What do you wish to do with the proceeds of the sales?

"Put it in a muggle account and get me a credit card if you can."

"Not a problem Harry, we own a muggle bank or two here in England we will take care of all this, just let me know which property you wish to keep."

The girls were not happy that night as I told them of my day that evening at Hogwarts. They were excited to go to see the penthouse.

/Scene Break/

"Mystery of Magic Department" I said to the 'floe'. I was taken back a bit when the 'floe' said "Enty restricted, unauthorized personnel will be prosecuted". I thought 'the weird life of Harry Potter' as I entered the 'floe'. I spun for a few minutes before it spit me out. Nothing happened except my normal fall to the floor so no weird...but the day had just started and Harry hadn't been told just how weird it was going to get in the next few days.

Throughout the Ministry it was rumored that Amelia Bones was giving Dumbledore the legal review over his declaration that he was my guardian. She had supposedly read the trial transcript which was leading to line theft charges for Dumbledore. She was involved with getting me private quarters there at Hogwarts when I had told Dumbledore he was not my guardian.

Meanwhile at 12 Grimmauld place Kreacher was putting up a fight to keep the horde of Goblins from entering the Noble House of Black only to lose his head in the fight. Bill Weasley was unhappy but it was take down the wards at Dumbledore's Headquarter of the Phenix or lose his job at the Goblin Bank.

"Morning Harry, up for a few tests?" Croaker was way too happy this morning.

Croaker led me to a room where they had all the crackling and popping equipment that buzzed and hummed as all mad scientists are required to have.

There was not much for me to do, for the most part I just had to touch this or send a spell at that. Looking back, the day was not worth getting excited about.

"Well that does it for today Harry, see you tomorrow as we are going to open a few doors, I hope." Crocker was still smiling.

I took the 'floe' to the bank, I was not sure what 'sliding' would do in a strange place like the Department of Mystery, nor did I want them investigating more of my strange life.

I fell in love with the Hotel before the tour ended. It was a Hotel with a penthouse on the top floor, a private penthouse elevator and the penthouse was on the thirteenth floor. No one builds a thirteenth floor in the magical world, I loved it. The place had a pool, sauna, four bedrooms and humongous living room with one wall being completely a glass window which opened to a balcony. The kitchen had all the modern appliances. The den was also a fair size library. I called Sissy and told her to have at it. She was as overjoyed as usual with the work available.

The next morning it was "Mystery of Magic Department" into the 'floe' once again. This time it was tackle the twenty doors in the circular room. Only three of them opened and each gave me a small shock. I was stupid enough to be conned into entering each room by Croaker. I was debriefed on each room as very few people had ever entered any one room. Anyway that's what he said but I still wonder if some of the doors had ever been opened. I asked the stupid question of who had put these rooms here. I got a lot of mumbo-jumbo and was left with the impression that no one really knew. They wanted to know my impressions and some of the side effects like being able to throw lightning from my hand. I wish I could explain it to myself.

The first room was the room with the books. The first thing learned was that my accompanying testers could not enter the room. I was curious if I got a repeat of the material. I got new books and again had to drag myself away from the table. The orb appeared again and again I got, "A small token of our appreciation for your quest of knowledge."

The second door was absolutely spooky and weird. The first thing it did was give me a shock. I walked in not two steps and into a thick fog where I could not see anyone and the door of course slammed shut, like the other room's doors. Nothing like giving me the impression that I would never escape from this room. Then I thought, why did I think this was a room? I couldn't see anything for the fog and then the voices started and I wondered if this was really fog? The voices were like the death veil, mumble, mumble or was it different? When I thought that I might not be Harry, I decided to leave but where was the door? I stopped and thought "I can do this" and the fog disappeared and it wasn't a room but an open meadow with blue skies. I saw the door and got the hell out.

The third door was entered by me at wand point, well not really but I was not that keen on entering. I entered the dark room and the door slammed shut, of course what else would it do? This was not just dark this was jet black nothing. I tried to light my wand with a 'lumus' and got nothing. Then the trilling started. Sounded like Dumbledore's phoenix just a lot of them as if they were talking to each other. It was so relaxing and peaceful, I just relaxed and sat on the floor. I figured the worst that could happen was I got pecked to death.

I could not tell you how long I sat there but suddenly the trilling was sounding like voices in the last room. "Time to leave, I enjoyed the company" I said. As I turned to walk the few feet to the door or where I thought the door to be, I tripped and fell on my beak. This is not happening I thought as the door opened, blinding me with all that light flooding into the room. I stumbled forward towards the light and I tumbled out totally confused.

I filled in the girls that night about everything except my falling on my beak.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 – Back to Normal?

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The next morning at breakfast, "Mr. Potter please see me in my office immediately."

"When I have finished my breakfast, meeting with you will most likely make me lose my appetite."

"You will show respect you insolent brat" was Snape's contribution to the conversation.

I ignored them until we had finished our meal and I then escorted my betrothed up to Dumbledore's office which should piss him off.

It did, "Mr. Potter I asked for you alone, you ladies may head to your classes."

"Yes girls head off to your classes I have an appointment with the Board of Governors. I'll catch you at lunch."

The girls left and while Snape and Dumbledore started their stick I 'slid' out of his office to our new apartment. What was the Head Turkey going to do? Expel me?

I had lied and headed to the apartment and stood in front of the mirror and thought bird and there appeared a phoenix, a jet black phoenix. According to the books covering a phoenix they turn darker as its familiar turns evil, boy is this going to make a statement. Then again I have no familiar but that won't stop the talk.

/Scene Break/

I just sat down with the girls and was again trying to convince them that we needed to leave. I could afford tutors or whatever it took for them to get their NEWTs. I was having no luck convincing them.

"Mr. Potter please see me in my office immediately." I wish I could convince the head jerk to leave me alone.

Dumbledore's office:

"So Harry what were you doing in the Department of Mysteries?" Twinkled Dumbledore.

"I was telling them like I tell you, don't know or it's none of their business."

"I'm sure if you would let me help I could be of great assistance."

"Yes I'm sure; I will ask you if I need your help Headmaster." I wondered where Snape was. He usually was around to give me verbal support here in the Headmasters office.

Dumbledore probed around as to who was the new Lord Black and dropped number 12 Grimmauld address to see if I would react or make a mistake. I thought I held my own quite well and finally got out of his office.

I headed down to our quarters and found out why Snape was missing from Dumbledore's little discussion. He had both Daphne and Tracey bound and gagged. Snape's wand was at Daphne's neck while one of the Slytherin seventh years had a wand at Tracey's. Two other Slytherins had there wands pointed at me.

Not being able to do anything I found myself bound, silenced, stripped naked and a set of magic suppression cuffs put on my wrists. They threw my wands and clothes off to the side so it was obvious they only wanted me, but for what was the question. If they had removed the wand from the girl's neck I could possibly have done something.

"You two say anything about what's happened here and Harry will be killed immediately, do you under stand?" Snape was at least not going to hurt the girls.

I knew that with the magic suppression cuffs the ministry was involved. They threw a robe around me and drug me off to a holding cell at the Ministry.

/Scene Break/

As best as I can figure it three days had passed. Two goons who I didn't recognize put a silencing charm on me and drug me out of the cell. At least no one had messed with my 'glamor' charm. The magic suppression cuffs only stopped me from doing magic, well we would see about that!They then dragged me to a courtroom in the Ministry where the Minister sat with six others.

"Harry James Potter you are charged with treason and conspiracy to over throw the government, how do you plead? Fudge was looking happy.

"Nothing to say? Fine! This court finds you guilty and sentences you to life in Azkaban. Guards take the prisoner to the holding cell until the Dementors can escort him to Azkaban.

What could I say they had me silenced but in a way I was chuckling. They had Harry Potter so they never thought to check for other charms or spell like my 'glamour' charm making me look like Harry Potter. I lost most of everything about an hour later.

Dumbledore and Snape entered the cell with the two goons just outside the cell door.

"Harry you will sign this document, now!"

Snape took great pleasure when I didn't answer and yelled 'Crucio'.

After several verbal threats and two of the 'cruciatus' curse they remembered the silencing charm they had put on me. They apparently had some restraints on driving me insane but they never got my signature. What little I had in my stomach was now on the floor and I had fouled myself. The pain still ebbed through my body as they left the cell talking of forging my signature by some magical means.

I can't say if it was an hour or a day but the cell door opened and two brain trusts dressed in Auror robes hit me with the 'Aguamenti' charm and off we went to Azkaban. I get hauled into what I would consider a very remote part of the place where they threw me into a cell. They finally took off the suppression bracelets and threw me some prisoner's clothes, locked the door and left. I was shaking so bad I doubted that I could hold a wand. I just laid there on the cold stone floor, shivering.

/Scene Break/

"Ah, Mr. Dumbledore what brings you to Gringotts?" SharpKnife inquired.

"I have here an authorization from Lord Potter Black to transfer his gold from his vaults. As you can see it is witnessed by the Minister of Magic."

"After reviewing the documents SharpKnife asked, "Where do you wish to transfer the gold to might I ask?"

/Scene Break/

A raspy voice cut through the distance between cells, "What you in for?"

I though that this was a good question, "For being me I guess."

"Yes I know the feeling" said the raspy voice.

The conversions grounded on untill the raspy voiced prisoner stated, "This is odd, those damn Dementors are always floating through here every couple of hours. I haven't felt one since you arrived."

The day passed into the next and I had not seen a Dementor or Voldemort. I figured Volde would show up and try and end my existence before long or at least send someone. I gained realization that the raspy voice was none other than Sirius Black.

"You're here in Azkaban for what? I asked. I wanted to here him confess before I left him to his miserable life.

"For being stupid, I got persuaded by the great leader of the light to change secret keepers. The rat then turns around and lets Voldemort know where my friends were hiding." Black was not happy as he told his tale. "The night they died Dumblefore convinced me to turn my godson over to another person. The Aurors grabbed me and I have been here ever since waiting on a trial."

"Not a fan of Dumbledore? I laughed.

"Not in this life time?" Sirius Black became silent for the remainder of the day.

"Hay you! You got a name? Sirius called the next morning.

"I've got several names, call me Jim for now." I replied.

"Well Jim old boy we got us a problem. We don't have Dementors and we have no Aurors bringing us our slop."

Sirius was confused but I was getting worried. I got the feeling that it was me that was causing the Dementors missing their rounds, everything usualy turned out to be my fault. The only thing I could think of was maybe because I was a phoenix and that was considered light just as Dementors were considered dark...That brought my mind back to the doors at the Ministry and all the weirdness that came along with opening them.

Black's story telling got back to getting out of Azkaban and killing Peter Pettigrew and how mad he was at Dumbledore. He was also mad at himself for listening to Dumbledore's orders to go after Peter and not tending to his godson.

/Scene Break/

"Minister we have problems at Azkaban!" Percy Weatherbee pompously stated.

"What now Weatherbee?"

"The Dementors are refusing to go into one of the cell blocks and also refusing the Aurors entry to the same cell block."

"Well just don't sit around mumbling order the Aurors to use the 'patronus' charm we don't take insolence!"

/Scene Break/

Cottage in Hogmeade Village :

"Tracey I never thought we would get out of there alive. Do you have any idea what's going on?

"No but if Harry shows up I am going to demand tutors, I am never going back to that school."

"Do you think we should tell our parents?

"Tracey you heard what they said, they will kill Harry if we say anything. Snape I could believe would do something like this but Dumbledore? There is no way we can fight him."

"Stop it! We have to make a plan to fight Dumbledore or get Harry away from them."

/Scene Break/

"Minister there is serious trouble at Azkaban" Percy screamed.

"What now Weatherbee?"

"The Aurors used the patronus and the Dementors are revolting. When the Aurors got into the cell block they found SiriusBlack and Harry Potter gone."

"Get me the Dailey Profit reporter we have to have this spun so we look good."

/Scene Break/

"Harry so nice to see you, are you dressing for some fancy party, and who is this gentleman?" Sharpknife asked as we were still in our prison garb.

"Sorry to barge in on you SharpKnife but I have to get my funds moved before ministry gets its act together. Can you convert it all to pounds and put it into a muggle bank?"

"Slow down Harry, it would be easier to send it all to a Gringotts vault in America or France. Then all your funds would be out of their jurisdiction" SharpKnife replied.

"Please do so, it will take a while for the Ministry to process the paper work but they should be here any time now." I was in a panic.

"France would be the easiest and quickest" SharpKnife said as he pulled out a document from his desk and said, "Sign her please. Good it is as good as done, any future paper work arriving here is considered too late."

"Thanks SharpKnife you're a life saver I just remembered the law on confiscation of vaults for people with life sentences. Oh! Watch out for future documents arriving that are forged by Dumbledore, I did not sign them and have no idea of there contents.

"Yes he submitted them already, we have been stalling while the council makes a disition on how to reply."

"Why don't we have a meeting in two days time. You need to see your lovely wives and we can face Dumbledore at that time."

"Wives" yelled Sirius causing both Harry and SharpKnife to laugh. Harry told Sirius he would have a long chat but right now Harry needed to see Daphne and Tracey. Sirius had more that a few shocks starting with the black pheionix flashing into his cell and turned into Harry Potter. Then the Harry Potter he could recognize waves his hand and someone else appears. That took a good part of the day to explain. Finaly Harry turned into his Phoenix form, grabbed Sirius and flashed to his Hogsmeade cottage.

Sirius was knocked down and stepped on as the two girls jumped on Harry. When things settled down Sissy was sent out to get clothes for Sirius. Sirius was left at the cottage to sort out his life with Sissy demanding he be fumigated. Harry using his phoenix express and introduced the girls to their new apartment, err, penthouse at the Hotel.

I was told in no uncertain terms that I needed a shower. I then got to soak in a bath full of fragrant salts. The girls then renewed the kissing attack.

(Lemon Scene: as it's the proper place for one)

Much later:

Daphne opened what looked like a closet door and asked, "Harry what is all this muggle electronics? That looks like the lobby on that TV."

"That my dear is security for the penthouse. I had the Goblins install a bunch of security for the Hotel but mainly this penthouse apartment."

"How is this stuff Goblin magic? Tracey queried.

"No it's all muggle security. This Hotel is a muggle Hotel after all. This screen is watching the lobby and this is for the outside balcony. These little levers allow us to move the cameras to look around the area. These levers drop steel bars on all the windows and this set of knobs and switches control the penthouse elevator and our entry doors. We can lock them down or operated them manually. Nice set-up the Goblins installed.

"Boy's toys" huffed Daphne.

Hogsmeade Village cottage sometime later:

A cleaned and scented Sirius Black was awaiting our arrival. Plots and plans were needed besides the little elf wouldn't let him out to chase down Peter.

When we all sat down and we started discussing our options..., enough was enough. Sirius and my first impulse was to charge in and blast them into little pieces.

The girls suggested a long time plan before we all got killed. Sirius was a prankster and suggested we start with some long lasting pranks of the painful nature like hanging them up by their...

The girls decided that they would do the planning. Sirius and I agreed, after all the girls did have elf back-up.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 -A Prank for you

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Sirius led me through the secret passageway to a passage behind a mirror on the fourth floor. It was the closest to Filch who had in a dingy and windowless office. An office containing filing cabinets with detailed records of all the students Filch had disciplined and all items he had confiscated.

The girls finally conceded to let us go on a pranking war as long as we were never seen or got into a face to face conflict with anyone. We thought they were going to exstact a magical oath, they were quite determined.

Sirius and I had an argument over breaking into Filche's office over a map that was rumored to be with the Weasley twins. Sirius argued that the twins had the parchment map not the updated hard cover version which Filch had also confiscated. At least Filch lived elsewhere in the castle and as a squib could not ward his office. We found the updated map as a shim to un-even wabbly table and that got Sirius upset.

"How dare he use such a valuable object as trash!"

"Sirius keep it down, do you want to get caught?"

Sirius was somewhat mollified as we spray painted the highly polished collection of chains and manacles that hung on the wall behind Filch's desk a shocking pink.

Sirius was covered by my invisibility cloak and I was sporting my Harry Potter 'glamour' charm as I wanted to be seen. The pranks were childish in some cases but Marauder proud in others.

We spray painted outside of Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, "Beware the Heir of Slytherin has returned".

In the Great Hall Sirius put a magical rocket under the Headmasters chair guaranteed to lift him to the roof before exploding in sparks.

Dumbledore's gargoyle was glued shut with a muggle glue and then magically strengthened.

Benches and chairs in the Great Hall had their legs weakened so as to collapse when the rocket went off.

Sissy helped by getting a flatulent potion into the breakfast food.

To add to all this invitations were sent out inviting Minister Fudge, Madam Bones along with the Greengrass and Davis families under Dumbledore's stationary. The latter three were told not to eat or sit but watch the fun. The parents wanted to give Dumbledore hell and could safely do that under Madam Bone's watchful eye.

We figured Dumbledore would be delayed by the gargoyle so the hall would be full of unaware students. He flashed into the Great Hall with Fawke's help and found irate parents. Parents screaming of his and Snape's treatment of their daughters.

Dumbledore was further accosted that morning as Filch was again begging Headmaster Albus Dumbledore to let him suspend students by their ankles from the ceiling, his pink cat appeared in support of the idea.

Daphne said that her father was still laughing as he told the story but did think the confetti going off all over the hall was a bit over the top. Tracey' mother said that the sign "The Marauders have returned" brought back fond memories.

We had not forgotten about Snape but I was going to personally take pride in what he got.

/Scene Break/

An important looking owl arrived from SharpKnife stating that Dumbledore and the Ministry would be in his office a ten am the next day and extended an invitation to view the meeting. We arrived to find that the Goblins had a viewing room that had one-way windows, err, stone wall. We could see and hear what was going on as we sat in comfort.

"Now see here SharpKnife!" huffed Fudge as he stormed into the conference room followed by Dumbledore and two Aurors.

"That's Account Manager SharpKnife Minister Fudge" growled SharpKnife.

"Yes, well, what's the delay we have provided the paperwork confiscating the vaults of a life-term convicted prisoner one Harry Potter."

"You of course can have the vaults, are you planning to take over the vault maintenance fee's?"

"Of course not just have the gold transferred to the ministry's vault and sell the remaining goods." Fudge was trying to keep up a forceful front.

"Oh I am sorry Minister Fudge but those vaults contain no gold or goods" grinned SharpKnife.

Fudge started a rant..."WHAT! I demand…" SharpKnife cut him off by saying, "You demand nothing here Minister this is Goblin soil. The gold you seek was removed my Lord Potter before you submitted your paperwork.

"I might have an answer for our problem Minister as I have submitted a document signed by Mr. Potter giving me authority over all his holdings. So SharpKnife might I ask you to recover and return all of Mr. Potter's gold to his vaults." Dumbledore twinkled.

"Thank you Mr. Dumbledore for officially submitting forged documents to the Goblin bank to get gold. The council has stated the penalty for this is forfeiture of your life."

Dumbledore called for his phoenix and flashed out as Goblin warriors rushed in to seize him.

"Minister do tell Mr. Dumbledore that his vaults have been confiscated and if he is caught on Goblin soil his life will be forfeited. Is there anything else Minster Fudge or would you like to see the empty vaults?"

Fudge left and the four of us were not sure whether we should be laughing or feel bad about what happened. Laughing won out.

Sirius and I thanked Sharpknife and assured him my gold would return when all of this was cleared up. Sirius, with 'glamor' charms, followed Jimmy Johnson with two gorgeous girls on his arms into Knockturn alley for the purchase of new wands. Sirius was surprised how many people waved at Jim while others avoided him.

After obtaining our wands we headed to the Dragons Breath for a fabulous steak dinner before heading to our muggle apartment. Sirius again got a shock or pranked if you will as our apartment as we called it was really a penthouse and muggle plush. Bit of a shock to expect an apartment and find a place with a sun-deck and Jacuzzi above the crowd.

/Scene Break/

Meanwhile in the secret hideaway of Lord Voldemort, called Riddle Manor, a confrontation was brewing. The Goblins had finally gotten around to appraising the property that would be up for sale when they ran into a series of wards. Not being deterred they brought in ward breakers. The assessment team and ward breakers arrived but ran off in fear for their lives by Voldemorts Deatheaters.

Voldemort now had a battalion of Goblin warriors along with around thirty Aurors awaiting the fall of the wards by the best ward breakers Gringotts had. Voldemort decided that a vacation to Malfoy Manor was desirable and left the mundane to squabble over property rights.

/Scene Break/

About this time one Sirius Black, who had never received a trial and was never convicted, was reviewing his assets. He found that Lucius Malfoy had violated his marriage contract so Lord Black voided the marriage. This caused a recalling of the bride price which was in gold and Black Manor which was now called Malfoy Manor. Voldemort was not having a good day and would soon be seeing Goblin assayer visiting once more.

/Scene Break/

We decided to have a war council, this was no way to live a life and all agreed England was going to be history. So the next morning we were obtaining a suite of hotel rooms in France under the name of Harold Jimmy Johnson. Sirius and I were wanted men and could be extradited from France. I had the luck of not having to wear a 'glamour' charm but Sirius still did if he went to get out and about.

IronFist was overjoyed to make more fees and the Goblins cared less our legal status within their doors. With all the legal paperwork under H.J. Johnson we commissioned a search for a magical residency in a secluded area of France. Looking at it from the Goblins point of view the more we spent that two percent fee looked profitable. We ended up the next day being shown places that suited our needs. The first place let me know I need to be more specific in describing what I wanted as I was standing in front of a castle with at least twenty towers. Being used to the English flat-topped towers the French pointy topped towers looked odd. The one hundred bedrooms covered more area in its six-story majesty than I cared to walk every morning for breakfast.

By the third place I was about ready to stop this insanity. The third place was my choice by order of the girls. This medieval castle or châteaux was in the middle of a forest with a winding paved road that led to an old horse carriage garage which had been modernized into a car garage.

The place was only two stories high but encircled a garden. The garden got the girls into the oohs and aahs as it was a small park of trimmed and sculptured bushes, plants and flowers with walking paths and sitting benches throughout. It even had a water fountain in the Quittage field size park. The glass enclosed swimming pool was out back Who ever lived here made the interior quite modern and comfortable with a view of the park from almost every window.

The Goblins stated that the wards were quite up to date. A visitor alarm was around the exterior of the grounds which were about a mile square and helped keep the poachers from the wild life. The house and pool was where the wards got nasty. The place was of course unplottable and had eight elves to maintain the place. The Goblins made a good commission that day for the sale.

/Scene Break/

Lord Voldemort was unhappy as he tapped his fingers on his magnificent throne like chair. He needed to get his hands on the troublesome brat and thorn in his side Harry Potter. Every plan and action always let Potter thwart him and then there was the blasted prophesy. The last he had heard of Potter was some rumor about him being in or going to France. He indeed needed a plan to lay his hands on the brat. He was now relegated to the dungeons of Crab Manor. Manor is what Crab Sr. called his hovel of a dump.

/Scene Break/

Albus Dumbledore was unhappy as he tapped his fingers on his magnificent throne like chair. He needed to get his hands on the troublesome brat and thorn in his side Harry Potter. Every plan and action always let Potter thwart him and then there was the blasted prophesy. The last he had heard of Potter was some rumor about him being in or going to France. He indeed needed a plan to lay his hands on the brat. Then the cobwebs cleared and Albus the Great had the perfect plan.

Further down the table Severus Snape was unhappy while he ground his teeth. The Master was unhappy, Albus was unhappy and I am being caught in the middle all because of that miserable brat. If I ever see the miserable four-eyed brat I will kill him myself. I will just claim it was an accident or someone else did the deed. Then a pleasant thought crossed his mind, 'I may never see the brat again'

/Scene Break/

"Madame Maxime I assure you its in the fine print of the contract" Dumbledore twinkled.

"Dumbleeydorr I will not allow a fiasco like you ran to be held at this school."

"I am sorry if you feel that way as the Headmaster at Durmstrang Institute has already agreed. If you fail to abide by the contract the consequences could be considerable."

So the next morning all the French papers and the English Dailey Profit had the headlines:

…^…^… Tri-Wizard Tournament to be held in France…^…Dailey Profit Exclusive…

In a surprise move the Tri-Wizard Tournament was again activated. This time the tournament will be held at Beauxbatons Academy of Magic which is located in the Palace of Beauxbatons near the city of Cannes in southern France.

For you die-hard fans Beauxbatons is Unplottable so no muggles or even wizards can find it on a map. We are sure it is disguised so unless you have a friend that has been there before this appears to be a private affair. (See Page 2 for information on the last tournament and the winner) See page 3 for information on the fugitive Harry Potter).

Dailey Profit reporter

Dan Fulofit

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/Scene Break/

November 1st the three schools had their students arrive by port-key. Madame Maxime welcomed Albus Dumbledore as Headmaster of Hogwarts with his twenty students plus one. The Headmaster from Durmstrang Institute arrived with his twenty students plus one. Madam Maxime was already not liking this as both of the other Headmasters were already adding people to bring to the tournament.

Ron Weasley was there with Dumbledore as a student monitor. Any questions about him to the Hogwarts students got answers like "poor student", "failed his NEWTs, and "given his job as Hogwart's flying instructor". It seemed his big dream in life to play Professional Quittage was dashed as no team would consider him. His dislike for one Harry Potter had only increased over the years.

Victor Krum had given up Professional Quittage for some unknown reason but had been pressed into becoming the Headmaster of Durmstrang without much formal training. He arrived with his students and his girlfriend Hermione Granger. Madame Maxime had a very bad feeling about this tournament and two weeks later it was confirmed.

/Scene Break/

On All Hollows night the Goblet of fire was again lit but this time was officiated by Madam Maxine. She had put multiple wards around the Goblet as it waited for the students to enter their names. As the name came out she wondered if there was much more to do than read the names as they came out and pray that no disaster occurred. The Goblet of fire lit and the first name was called.

"The Champion for Hogwarts is Gary Fawcett." The Goblet lit again.

"The Champion for Durmstrang Institute is Ivan Poliakoff."

"The Champion for Beauxbatons Academy is Alexandrie Duvall."

The Goblet lit again and so did Madame Maxime in a string of curse words that were only under stood by French speakers.

The Champion for St Brutes School for the criminally insane is Harry Potter."

/Scene Break/

I was unhappy over the newspaper article, the tournament and my entry. What I was not aware of was the yelling and screaming that would be happening and the plans over Harry Potter from every quarter imaginable. That was until I was called to IronFist's office.

"Harry, good to see you. I have a couple of things that will be of interest to you and your entry into the Tri-Wizard tournament."

"My only interest is getting out of the stupid thing. They are going to be waiting for me to show so they can arrest me and I will lose my magic, if I don't go I will lose my magic."

"I have some good news in that area for you. While you can't get out of the tournament you cannot be touched legally by any law enforcement agency" IronFist grinned.

"How is this miracle being arranged?"

"Seems your slow-witted Minister Fudge had sent over a team of Aurors in an attempt to search for you here in France. That upset the French government. Then Fudge applied for your extradition as an escaped prisoner from Azkaban"

"So when do they come for me?" I knew this was too good to last.

"Don't be so negative. The French government had at least one person who didn't just rubber stamp the request and looked up your status here in France."

"AND?"

"Apparently he looked for your entry permits but found you are a French citizen. That made a big difference. The French Government then requested the trial transcripts and any documents of your escape and how many you injured or killed or laws broken."

"Well that was a short read unless they forged some documents." I laughed.

"Indeed it was and not looked on very favorably in their railroading a French Citizen for killing nonhuman creachers. I think some lower ministry worker just sent it out when the request came in and never notified the English Minister."

"So where does this leave me?"

"Free as a bird, France has no reason to bother you in fact here is a port-key to Beauxbatons Academy main ball room. The port-key is multi use but only one way and that is to the Academy. You may bring your wives of course and the Headmistress will be awaiting your arrival."

"I am going to have a problem, the Harry Potter you see is the real me but not the one I want them to see. Anyone using a 'finite' on me will see the real me. Is there anything you could come up with to help hide my face?"

"Want a pretty face or do you care? IronFist grinned.

"I don't care as long as it hides my true face until after the tournament." I replied and again had to kick myself for not defining what I wanted to the Goblins."

/Scene Break/

Daphne, Tracey and I arrived at the Beauxbatons Academy main ball room to find it was also the dinning facilities. The school Coat of Arms of two golden wands crossed over one another, each shooting three stars hung on the wall behind the head table. The champions had a separate table. I almost laughed out loud when I found Ron and Hermione hobnobbing with the teachers at the Head table.

"Lord Potter so nice that you could join us, I hear you have had quite the adventure getting here." Laughed Beauxbaton's Headmistress as I formaly greeted her with a bow and kiss to the hand. With her heighth it was more of a head nod.

"Yes indeed Headmistress, might I introduce my ladies? This lovely lady is Lady Daphne Potter and this pretty lady is Lady Tracey Slytherin."

"We here at Beauxbaton's welcome you, please have a seat at the champions table and join in the dining. I think you will find the food much lighter than the food served at Hogwarts. When you're finished I invite you to join my staff for a chat."

"Thank you Headmistress we would be delighted."

Daphne, Tracey and I sat at the champions table and as quickly as it was polite I informed the other champions that I was not here to compete. While I had to go through the motions I was not going to attempt to win, I just didn't want to lose my magic.

Later as we joined the staff for a chat I got the question I was expecting, "Mr. Potter you look exactly like you did those many years ago. Is it a 'glamour' charm or have you found the secret to eternal youth?"

"A 'glamour' charm of course. I cannot walk the streets looking like this without getting mobbed or attacked. My true looks are quite unknown by the public thus making it quite pleasurable to walk down the street as an unknown individual."

"Yes our boy is quite shy and as his wives do not crave the publicity so 'glamor' charms are used quite liberally." Tracey added.

"We would have demanded you remove the 'glamour' charm if it wasn't for the Potter Head of House ring. The ring clearly identifies you as Lord Potter." Madam Maxine stated.

"Thank you for being observant and your hospitality is appreciated."

"Now will you and your wife be requiring quarters here at the school?"

"No Madam we have that covered." I don't want to expose ourselves to anymore trouble than necessary.

"Well in the interest of international coöperation we would like it if you could join us as often as possible."

We agreed and later left for home after an evening of polite conversations.

/Scene Break/

I really hated the Goblin disguise as it was a pain to put on and take off, but it was a necessity if my identity was to stay hidden. The girls could use 'glamor' charms as well when we went out together in places like Diagon alley and now at the school. No one ever looked twice at us when we got to be normal people, well they did look at the girls but few looked at their faces.

We decided to spend the day at Madam Maxine's house of Veela. As we port-keyed in I fell on my back-side as usual. I cannot for the life of me not fall when I 'floe' or port-key, that is why I love my ability to 'slide'. Phoenix travel is a real joy but is not something I want to advertise.

As I looked around I found that this schools restricted location had been slightly compromised. There must have been ten reporters and twenty big wigs. As I picked myself off the floor I heard, 'Finite Incantatem' coming from Dumbledore at the head table.

My 'glamore' charm fell and exposed my rubber mask that completely encompassed my head, I turned to Dumbledore and yelled, "BOO!" The room went silent until Daphne said, "Isn't he just adorable?" and both girls kissed my cheeks. Dumbledore stormed off amid the laughter in the room.

To put on the rubber mask I had to pull it over my entire head, it had long pointy ears, a bald head, and a large nose. You could best describe my looks as being a Goblin. While the entire room was snickering or all out laughing I sent a dozen hexes at Dumbledore retreating posterior. I then replaced the 'glamor' charm showing Harry Potter.

The girls were tired of the 'glamor' charms they had to wear. They only hoped that being in Slytherin that most professors didn't remember who they were or what they looked like. Of course using 'glamor' charms hopefully reinforced what the two girls looked like that hung out with Harry Potter. Growing older should haze most people's memories. The fewer people that could recognize us ment a little easier life style.

In a very short time the place was crawling with reporters for the tournament and to cover the boy who lived or Victor Krum or just to make a pain in the rear of themselves. everyone's photos were plastered on each addition of their newspaper.

/Scene Break/

It wasn't long before Krum had given a friendly challenge to start-up a Quittage game. I had made the mistake of talking to Hermione which drew Gary Fawcett from Hogwarts in to talk Quittage. That had gotten Krum to issue the challenge.

The Tri-Wizard Tournament was not the only thing going on in the school besides studies. Their Quittage pitch was not being used for any of the tasks, which led to a number of pick-up games in addition to the "The Challenge of Beauxbatons". The challenge drew quite a lot of spectators and reporters to see Krum flying against Harry Potter. The dueling pitch also provided an excellent challenge to train in casting spells and dueling matches.

"Hay Victor when are you going to duel the boy who lived?" said an obnoxious reporter. Krum was just one of the people who enjoyed watching people make fools of themselves in dueling matches. He also was more interested in snuggling with Hermione in the viewers stand than take part in any of the matches.

"Not with Mr. Potter, he is too good for me" Victor was obviously trying to get out of any spell casting.

The spectators and the reporters were not going to let him out of facing me. They finally agreed on a four on one duel. Victor along with one of the Beauxbatons teachers joined another seventh year student. The loud mouth reporter was forced into the friendly duel.

Victor was actually pretty good but I hit him with an 'Expelliarmus' and got my normal shock. I try to refrain from using that spell in a duel as it can cause me to be distracted. The best was the teacher who turned out to be the DADA professor. They all fell in the end and I returned their wands or helped them up. It was actually a fun duel, at least for me.

The Beauxbatons Academy actually had some good players so the Quittage games started. These games made the papers due to reporter boredom and my beating Victor in the first match. Now we had more reporters and a ton of the public for the return matches. Beauxbatons location was now common knowledge and the stands were full.

/Scene Break/

You can't give the magical credit for inventiveness the first task was a dangerous magical creature. We would not know until the last minute what it was.

Today was the first task and it was a Chimaera. The thing would look stupid with the head of a lion, wings and tail of a dragon and a middle of a goat but it breathed hot fire and had very sharp claws.

The thing was chained in the middle of a pitch and we had to get a box it was guarding. Alexandrie got in first and was first to be clawed up badly by the beast. Gary got burnt badly while Ivan got both burnt and clawed.

ME?

I sashayed to the left and did a sequence of gliding or sidesteps found in square dancing. I had spent some time in America and had picked up some of the culture and dances. The Chimaera was not having this and let out a blast of hot fire. I think it got peeved when I started a ceremonial dance performed before going into battle by the North American Indians like you see on TV. I flounce gracefully away always attracting its attention, which did nothing for its temperament. When it got too close I 'slid' out of its way. I had no intention of getting that box; I was just running out the clock on the task. In the end I got twenty points for my dance routine which gave me fourth place.

/Scene Break/

December rolled around so a variation of the Yule ball was held. The students at Beauxbatons were serenaded while they dine by choirs of wood nymphs. At Christmas time the dining hall was adorned with great, non-melting ice sculptures. Dancing was enjoyed by most. Ron still couldn't get a date in a girl's school. We think his purpose there was to keep an eye on me because the great leader of the light had a school to run among other positions in his illustrious life.

Just prior to the second task the Great leader of the light Albus Dumbledore strolled into the ball room as we were eating lunch at the champion's table.

"Daphne suddenly started, "five…four…three…two…one…"

"Mr. Potter please see me in my, err, room immediately."

"Dam", said Tracey as she handed over a sickle to Daphne. "Suckers bet but he's got to be senile to keep demanding that when he already knows the answer."

/Scene Break/

Second Task or a stroll through the woods:

The box that everyone was supposed to retrieve in the first task was kept from me as well as the information inside. The information was what creatures lurked in the woods that we had to go through. We had to arrive at the judge's stand which was through the woods and near the cliffs. I had obstacles not included in the box, Dumbledore had his whole Turkey club in the woods all attempting to kidnap little old me.

Those rooms at the Department of Mysteries seemed to impart a lot of knowledge and some very weird capabilities. Being a black phoenix was odd enough but my sight and senses were a lot clearer and I was quicker. I have no idea how much the book of knowledge imparted but it all seemed to gel with my wand touching ability. No, I could not run at Olympic speed and jump buildings in a single bound but my transition to my phoenix form was almost instantaneous. Once in that magical form I could flash to a tree top or across the country in an instant. Now put me in a dark forest and I think you see how much trouble Dumbledork's club members were in, although MadEye's eye did give me some trouble. He got so dizzy trying to follow my movements that I was finally able to stunned him. Most were searching the grounds for Harry Potter and not watching the tree tops for a phoenix.

When they were in the right position I would become human, stun them and change to my phoenix mode, swoop down and flash them to the judge's tables. After dumping the stunned individual I would flash back for the next victim. I had to do something to kill time while in the task. I finally stumbled out of the forest just before they were sending a search party to look for me, I pretended to be exhausted. I again got low score for the task, the time set for the task had exspired.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11 – The Next Task

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A week before the third task we port-keyed into the ball room and after I picked myself off the floor we joined the champions table. I cannot tell you how much I detest port-key travel. We were enjoying breakfast as Alexandrie was doing a 'Ogwarts rumor story when Madam Maxine announced to the table that the champions needed to be present this coming Saturday for information on the third task.

The girls went off to chat and discuss current fashions which left me being talked into a pick-up game of Quittage. I got talked into being the keeper and sat bobbing on my broom for the most part of the morning. It was nice to see some of the second years take the game seriously.

We returned to our castle and were in the garden sunning ourselves; the girls were attired in skimpy bikinis to my delight. Oh! I know it's the middle of winter but do you think the elves are going to let the garden get frost bit after all their work? They had an elf dome over the huge garden and the temperature was nigh on tropical inside. After awhile Tracey dragged me in for a shower as she had an itch she wanted scratched. The next day the bikini's appeared in the pool and Daphne dragged me away for a sore muscle massage. This life was pretty good.

Saturday came and as I again picked myself off the floor and promised the port-key a violent death as we found that the next task was a maze. That night I took both ladies out on the town. I had reservations at a fancy restaurant and later for a show. The wives wanted a dress up affair with strap-less gowns and high heals. That of course had me in a suit and tie, I was not allowed to loosen the tie even at the theatre. So I got to suffocate while the fat lady screeched. When we got home the girls put on a show before sliding their nude bodies into bed to continue the entertainment for the evening. Merlin this is the life.

/Scene Break/

We arrived early for the third task so we could have breakfast. Ron Weasley saunters up and something hits me on the back. I never heard the screams from my wives or the insane laughing from him as the pull at my navel told me I was being port-keyed somewhere. Magic took its pound of flesh from squib Ronald Weasley for trying to stop me and therefore a binding magical contract was violated. Magic after all was intent and a little magic.

When I arrived I was met by a couple of Deatheaters. My guess is Ron was living up to his name of Weasel. Unfortunately they were not familiar with my Harry Potter's arrival technique and their three 'stunners' when where I should have been standing.

As I fell, as I usually do by port-key travel. I rolled and activated my Goblin port-key and returned to Beauxbatons Academy. As I was picking myself off the floor I got told...

"Harry Potter quit fooling around and get your &$#& bum over here and finish your breakfast." Tracey looked out of sorts.

I don't think Daphne and Tracey were really mad at me but were worried and had to let the frustration out someway. I didn't want to be Dumbledore if he started his mouth, he was glaringly absent. Ron was nowhere to be seen. The girls finally told me he had made an insane laugh, suddenly saw the looks around the hall and ran for the exit

The girls had me by my arms and were dragging me towards the maze. Time had come for my morning fun in the maze as a champion. The cannon fired and the champions started entering the maze. I got to enter last as I was in fourth place and was looking forward to sending up red sparks in a minute or two when I meet the first obstacle. I never got the chance.

Fawcett was of course in the maze but down on the ground as if injured. Being a helpful stupid type I tried to help. He jumps up and slapped a port-key on me and away we went. For as much as I hate port-keys I found myself using the stupid things for the third time today.

I had the same reaction as always, I tripped, hit the ground and rolled as an 'Avada Kedavra' flew into Fawcett's chest. This time the Goblin port-key did not activate. They must have put up an anti-portkey ward as soon as we appeared.

Volde fired another 'Avada Kedavra' which exploded the tomb stone I had rolled behind. This of course made me leap for more cover but the leap put me on the ground and rolling again. I fired off a blasting curse followed by several 'Diffindo' curses. From the yell I must have hit someone. As I peaked around my new tombstone and I see one person on the ground, Voldemort and three other Deatheaters standing, plus another 'Avada Kedavra' headed my way. This time when I leaped and rolled I got off a 'Reducto' and two 'Diffindo' curses. The next second a number of screams were heard amid an explosion. Voldemort is now short one arm and another of his Deatheaters was in serious pieces. The series of curses that followed were uncountable as they rained down, Deatheater reinforcements were now arriving. I needed to get out.

I was close to a small mausoleum so I made a dash for it. A blasting curse hitting the ground by me helped me on the way. With the mausoleum blocking their spells and their view, I changed into my black phoenix and flashed to Beauxbatons Academy.

Ivan Poliakoff had muscled his way to the cup and was now the Tri-Wizard champion.

/Scene Break/

"While you were out dancing with Voldemort and his girly boys I was given this letter." stated Daphne, "We need to talk whenever we get back home." She was smiling as she put the letter in her purse so I figured it wasn't bad news.

After a nice meal at home I was dragged into the sitting room to discuss what we would be doing for the rest of the day and the near future. The discussion started with the letter Daphne handed me. The letter was from the coach of the French all-star team. If I wished a tryout as seeker I was to report to the stadium at 10 am this coming Saturday.

The next day arrived with a thud. The girls finally quit giving me a hard time, well for the most part. I was back in their good graces as they were bored and a day in Paris was determined, by them, to be my choice, to take them in relieving that boredom.

We got to stroll around and I got a lot of serious attention. The sidewalk café was enjoyable as we chatted. By dinner time I was suspicious, they had not spent the day shopping. They ordered up the expensive meal that couldn't fill a hungry parakeet. They didn't comment as I tried the largest steak on the menu. They then stated that they would like to visit with their friends this coming Saturday. AH HAH! they didn't want to be bored with Quittage try-outs. Now it was my turn to look a little disappointed and still understand their need to see their friends. These little games were sometimes fun. However never show that you didn't care or you're in the "You don't love me no more" soup.

/Scene Break/

"Coach Aglionby?"

"Yes you must be Harry Potter?"

"Yes and before you start you are aware of the troubles that follow me where ever I go?"

"Indeed, however we have security and no one is crazy enough to attack a stadium with hundreds of thousands of witches and wizards all armed with wands. Ah! Here comes Andre and Pierre."

After introductions the rules were laid out, the first to catch the snitch two times had the seekers position. After that the coach would select the reserve seeker. Each seeker carried a Firebold broom so that was an even contest.

The primary and reserve teams were in the air and out to make the would-be seekers lives miserable by blocking or by the hurtling bluggers. In a normal game you had two beaters and two bludgers but here we had four beaters and four blodgers.

I got lucky and spotted the snitch on the northern middle ring. The race was on and the bluggers were incoming. A simple barrel roll avoided the last blugger and the snitch was in my hand.

Coach Aglionby released the snitch and the three of us were off again. The snitch for some reason was not hiding as it usually does and Pierre spotted it and had it in his hands within seconds.

The coach again released the snitch and we sped off. After about five minutes of dodging players and bludgers my searching was interrupted by the sound of automatic gun fire. The guards for the stadium had spotted incoming Deatheaters on brooms. The only problem was there were only three guards that carried automatic weapons and were soon out of action.

I now have a problem; the Deatheaters are coming in from all four sides of the stadium and a number hovering overhead, this put me in the middle. I assumed that they were after me and not the snitch so I made a few insane moves. I speed straight for the Deatheaters on the south rings. Straight is not really accurate as I had to bob, weave and barrel roll to miss the curses flying at me. The one good thing was the Deatheaters were not use to flying and casting spells and they were horrible flyers. I flashed by them while stringing curses as fast as I could and then dived and reversed my direction and hit them again as I headed north. The south Deatheater curse's hit the bunch heading in from the north while the north's curses hit a bunch in the south. I so far was not hit.

As I was hoping and dreading by now all the other Deatheaters were now in the middle of the pitch formed up in a ragged mass and were headed my way, so was a wall of curses. As all this was going on I noticed that the other players and the coach has left via the exits and had dropped the gate doors so those exits were not available for me. I did have a small advantage, my firebolt. I charged the mass of Deatheaters and hoped nothing would hit me solid or I was done for. I suddenly streaked upwards to miss the curtain or curses, then reversing direction and now speed to the right. I got nicked by a cutting curse and I swear a blasting curse flattened my hair but my plan was working. The Deatheaters had cast curses at me which missed me or never got to me as they hit other Deatheaters. The Deatheaters had bunched up in the middle of the field and were hard to miss when I strung a series of curses or even just one.

I was zigzagging and throwing curses, in my insane flying when I almost knocked Voldemort off his broom only to see he was not on a broom. He was floating along like sitting in a comfortable chair casually tossing curses at me. I flashed by Voldemort followed by a half-dozen curses. One of those curses clipped Voldemort and he dropped his wand. I switched my wand to my other hand on the broom reversed direction and dove. I snatched Voldemort's wand as it fell. The shock from the wand almost knocked me off my broom.

My next and last trick was to do a straight up climb while casting a transfiguration spell producing stone balls and let gravity do its work. I'm not sure how many I hurt or stopped but now was the time to see just how fast this broom would fly. As I said Voldemort's troop were bad flyers and I soon left them in the dust. This whole fight had only taken seconds as the firebolt could do 150 miles an hour. When I quit laughing and 'slid' home I knew I was dead.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12—Time for a vacation

I knew I was dead because the wives would want to know what happened and if I lied, then some paper was bound to report the incident. I was in big trouble. Why had I not just 'slid' out of danger was my and their question and I don't have a good answer. They waited to berate me until after they had healed all the cuts, burns and bruises that I didn't realize I had received. My robes looked like there were more holes than robe and my clothes were all ripped and torn. I was just glad that the Deatheaters could fly and cast curses worth a knut. The thing that got to me was that Pierre had caught the snitch and Andre got the reserve position. I think the coach got the picture of how dangerous it was to be around me.

"How about a nice vacation" I asked to change the girls tongue lashing.

Daphne and Tracey huddled and whispered and turned to me.

"We have decided that a vacation will be fantastic Mr. Johnson." Tracey stated.

I was instantly relieved that the subject of me and Quittage practice had been changed when I wondered what was with the Mr. Johnson?

"Yes our London apartment will be the perfect place to meet with our parents who we haven't seen in ages. Then there is the shopping that you owe us" Daphne added with a smile.

"Yes my dears your wish is my command" that got me a pillow in the face.

Sissy delivered the entire luggage mountain with the help of the elves from Frances. They elves turned into a cleaning and polishing tornado so on our arrival the place was spotless. I hoped we had enough elf transport after the women's shopping binge. The elves always craved work but they were fanatical about it in my opinion. I caught Sissy cleaning the elevator and if I am not mistaken the Caladrius Hotel now had an invisible elf cleaning crew.

There was no 'floe' connection as this was a muggle hotel and our guests would come and go as muggles. We had full day to relax and then the relatives would start arriving by cab. The first wave was the mothers so that left me with a soda and the TV for the most part. The second wave brought fathers and sisters. That took care of that day with a dinner in the Hotel restaurant. The women went off to chat and the guys huddled around the TV and drank beir. With muggle sports on the satellite TV or SyFi on tape we guys were basically satisfied. Mr. Greengrass ran a business that had contacts with muggles and Mr. Davis was a muggle so it worked out.

The trip started to go down hill soon there after. The women decided on a shopping excursion which the men were not allowed to miss. I will try and not remember either sitting bored in a corner or having to compliment the women on their choices. I had no idea about clothes or fashions. The girls looked better without clothes in my opinion, which I was smart enough to keep to myself. At least Sissy was happy popping all the clothes back to the apartment.

It all fell to pieces that evening after everyone was back in the penthouse, "So where shall we go for dinner tonight? I asked with a steak on my mind.

"Chinese sounds good." Tracey's mother suggested.

"How about a Thai meal." Daphne looked for me to support her.

"Steak house! Said the other males almost in unison." After it was all over we ended up with Chinese being delivered.

About an hour after all the boxes were emptied, "Master Harry we got nasty company coming!" Sissy squeaked. I checked the security equipment, especially the cameras. The balcony camera caught the flash of a red robed wizard on a broom seeking cover behind the building across the street while the roof camera showed no activity. The lobby camera showed a few familiar Ministry faces and the Minister himself.

Apparently someone was watching the Greengrasse's or the Davis family's homes or movements and decided to stop by for a surprise get together.

"Alright you lot, find a window and keep watch but don't stand in front of them. I am going to make some people very unhappy." I stated as I picked up the telephone and dialed 999.

"Yes, Police services? This is Harold J. Johnson, owner of the Caladrius Hotel. Yes, I hate to bother but I believe I have a group of twenty people trying to enter the hotel. From their dress and demeanor they appear to be of the same organization and appear to wish us harm."

"Harry their landing on the roof" Daphne called as she pointed to the roof camera.

"Please hurry they just landed people on the hotels roof…Yes officer it could be a terrorist attack but I assure you I am not experienced in those types of maters."...They told us to find a secure place and stay safe they would be sending officers.

"We will Officer, I am activating the hotel's security at this time; I am going to have my wife hold the line open." I then threw the switches to drop the bars on the windows and patio doors. Next I disabled the elevator. Of course down in the lobby the elevator's normal operation had the Aurors confused . They finally located the door to the stairs and were charging up enmasse. All the security measures only applied to the penthouse so the stairs were open for their use until they hit the Penthouse's reinforced steel doors

While I am a fugitive of the Ministry of Magic and Azkaban I am not planning on having a shootout to get away from the Aurors. No I am going to let them violate the secrecy act among other no-no's. Whatever transpires the muggle Minister will find out about this if he has not been already notified? This disaster was stupid to the extreme and could only be bad for the Ministry of Magic who was currently standing in the middle of the lobby twirling his lime green bowler hat in his hands. If they got close enough to get in to this apartment I would definitely remember to 'slide' with all my guests to a safer location.

Stumping a magical is often done with simple muggle technology. One of the Auror tried to blast the steel bars that blocked one of the bedroom door leading from the bedroom patio. He accomplished two things, to start with he bent one bar of about eight and partly destroyed the room behind it, secondly the police were notified of a blast as it was heard over the telephone. The shrieks from a couple of the women added to angst of the police listening on the phone. The Auror got four spell cast at him by my group. Most of the Aurors spells passes though the bars of the door further destroying the room further but not affecting the steel bars. The spell fire stopped as the Auror was out cold on the small patio from our return fire.

The Aurors that charged up the stairs were stopped by the Goblin steel doors. That had them stumped as they didn't know it was Goblin steel. Goblins made the finest metals, strong with enchantments.

The lobby cleared quickly of screaming people as they streamed out the front doors. Stupid Fudge and company must have decided that if they couldn't get the elevator to run then they would blast it open and that would cure the problem. I quickly opened the penthouse elevator doors and to my surprise six Aurors entered the elevator. I closed the doors and started it upwards but stopped it between floors. The police could handle them later. Oh the magicals would be there as I put up anti-apperation and port-key ward on the hotel.

Now I am not sure as I was coordinating our defences but I did catch on the screens some things that would make a video tape party a must. I saw some very weird happenings in the lobby. Like Fudges hat catching on fire while spinning in his hands. One of the couches suddenly attacked an Auror. With all the magic in the lobby the TV and other electronics exploded causing billowing smoke. Another Auror was attacked by the plastic plants that resembled miniature palm trees. The smoke suddenly cleared just as the police entered the lobby. I think Sissy and crew were having some fun.

It turned out that London had a new terrorist strike team which included a couple of helicopters. That took care of the Aurors on the roof and balconies. The police officers entering the lobby were armed with guns and gas and taser weapons. England's Bobbies seldom carried firearms.

In the end they had captured and handcuffed twenty Aurors and Fudge. They lost them as the magicals 'port-keyed' or 'apperated' as soon as they were taken out of the wards. Those being lead out of the Hotel were the now reported terrorists and were caught on film by both muggle and magical media. I wish I could be in the office when Fudge tried to explain to the muggle Prime Minister shooting down one of his helicopter. This of course was not counting the attack on the Caladrius Hotel in the middle of London England. In all the action no one was killed so we were left with just the fun of it all. Fudge and the Ministry of Magic was left with untold muggles that needed to be 'Obliviated' and an irate English government. I told the Goblins to have the Minister sued into covering the cost of Hotel repairs and anything extra they got was to be considered their fee. I left some very happy Goblins.

/Scene Break/

For some unknown reason all the women decided that the Caladrius Hotel was not a suitable vacation. We ended up in Hawaii along with the Greengrasse's and Davis family. The wives demanded that they be compensated for their traumatizing experience at the Hotel. It was the shopping malls that would help ease their trauma and stress.

I just enjoyed watching the girls on the beach and enjoyed the sun. England has always been to cold for bikini wear. Fudge got tossed out on his bum though a no confidence vote in the Wizengamot. Life was good.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13 – Dumbledore's turn

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Training was still part of my daily routine and the ranch was the ideal place. I had twenty-six acres to run in and all sorts of rocks to practice my spells. The previous owners had done a lot to make this a pleasant place to live. The asphalt road that came off the main road came to a metal gate hung on six-foot high rock walls. The road continued and finally approached a ranch style house. Off to the right from the house was a long building which was the horse stables. The stables and the paddock were surrounded by metal pipe fencing. I the rear of the house there was a huge tree with a sun-deck encircling it. Great for sunning oneself or shade from the heat but best for sitting in the evening watching the sun set over the distant mountains. The place was nondescript yet elegant in a western style.

"HARRY" called Tracey, "You have a letter from Gringotts."

"Be right in dear" I called back. I was thinking of putting in some horses but with summer approaching the girls might want to head to the château in France. One hundred and five degrees in the shade is a bit much for English raised folks.

"Gringotts wants a meeting to discuss business, you girls want to come along and watch me show my ignorance?"

"Oh, we are use to that" Tracey added.

"Yes I think some shopping is called for, although we will wait for Paris to do any real shopping" Daphne replied.

/Scene Break/

As I entered IronFist's office. "Whooh! Two for the price of one! How are you two doing? IronFist sat with SharpKnife in the office behind stacks of papers.

"We are doing in gold just fine. My brother called you to offer a deal that I think you might like. England is in an economic slump over Voldemort little attacks. The new Minister Pius Thicknesse is doing nothing to stop Voldemort and is no better than a Deatheater in disguise.

"And I come into this picture, where?"

SharpKnife grinned, "You sold all you properties before you left at a handsome profit. Those same properties are not worth knuts today and the current owner's wants out of the properties and England."

"Don't think I can own anything as a wanted escapee from Azkaban and Johnson is a muggle name so that's out…"

"Harry, while you are correct we kind of forgot to cancel the blind trust after you sold out. The ministry has already gone through everything to get to your money and property. So if you buy back in no one will know the difference."

"What kind of investment would that be if Voldmort keeps burning down the Alley?" I liked the idea but…Daphne whispered in my ear, "He can't burn the land and the buildings can be rebuilt."

IronFist jumped in, "Now if the Goblin brothers were to have lets say a twenty-percent interest we would have an interest in protecting the properties."

"Ten percent" I offered.

"Fifteen percent" IronFist got right into bidding.

"Couldn't see more that eleven percent as the startup money is mine."

We settled at twelve percent with them doing the construction and I providing the capital. Seems in the last Voldemort raid the Second-hand robe shop, Gambol & Japes thru the Magical Menagerie were burnt down. What was convenient was all this property was right next to Gringotts.

One month later:

"Leave it to the Goblins" I marveled. They had the plans and the building up in no time. One huge two story building was up next to Gringotts. The building was mainly a high class restaurant but it had everything from a gold jewelry shop to a clothing boutique. There was living quarters on the second floor as well as private dining rooms. The girls had to push my jaw closed as the Goblins laid out the security features of the building.

My appearance in both Alleys was not something to draw attention. Harold Jimmy Johnson was know for years and his new job at the Dragon's Breath restaurant was just something that happened. The old Dragon's Breath had been burnt down as were many other building that where well known businesses for many years.

Jimmy's gorgeous girls flitted from helping in the boutique to the gold shop or assisted Jimmy greeting guests. Everyone was happy with the work and lack of 'glamor' charms

What Jim's exact job was not known by the public as he could be seen interviewing job applicants to greeting guests at the restaurant. What most people probably didn't realize was that with the new building Jim was waiting for Voldemort and his losers. The people may have expected Voldemort but Jimmy was waiting to spring a few surprises on the Deatheaters.

What I was not expecting was the Weasley twins dragging Ron over and asking if there was work for a squib in the restaurant. I honestly tried to find a reason to help him. His ears were red when he was dragged up indicating he was mad. When I explained the elves did the work and any human employed had to have magic to work. Ron must have been under some lock-jaw spell as he was red faced mad and past the point of exploding. I recommended a muggle trade school and waved goodbye.

/Scene Break/

The restaurant was a big hit especially with the purebloods. Voldemort was now overdue and didn't disappoint because he sent his personal representatives. That evening as the evening dinning trade was wandering in Voldemort sent in ten Deatheaters by port-key. Phase one of the Goblin defenses started by refusing to let the building be damaged. Spells and curses just bounced away harmlessly from the ward sheilds covering the frount of the building.

I could not let this fun get away without aggravating them, so I stood on the front door step with a wand in each hand. "Sorry but you don't have reservations so you can't come in tonight." That got them to do some curse casting.

The wards protected me where I stood so when a dozen curses headed my way I didn't flitch, I just threw curses and spells as fast as I could cast them. Dual wand casting is a lost art and that may have slowed them down a bit before all ten were laid out on the ground. I raised anti-apperation and anti-portkey wards and reentered the restaurant. My job in the street was done I now had customers to calm down.

The girls and the staff had the customers under control when Daphne stated, "You know they are all going to be here don't you?"

"Of course, shall we reserve a private room for them" I laughed and did just that.

"Oh, Tracey make sure you bring me and only me a bottle of good wine and not the house wine." I had a plan as I headed to stand outside the restaurants front door, Daphne accompanied me.

Sure enough here came the Dumbledore and Snape followed by someone who I figured was Minister Thicknesse and two Aurors. The other Aurors were cleaning the street of the trash laying about.

As they tried to enter the restaurant, "Gentlemen your reservations please."

"Young man I am the Minister of Magic and this is Albus Dumbledore Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot." Like that was to mean something to me.

"To enter here you have either a warrant or a reservation…" I was cut off by Thicknesse, "Now see here there was battle outside this establishment and we are interviewing all witnesses"

"Well as you can see no one inside saw anything going on outside except me. Since we are still outside interview away but to enter you have to have a warrant or a reservation."

Dumbledore entered the discussion, "Then as a material witness you will go with us and keep your mouth shut." They all started to enter the restaurant.

"Excuse me please but your reservations please." Daphne asked.

"I'm Minister Thicknesse" the Minister was almost shouting.

"Only customers with reservations are allowed to enter unless you have a warrant?"

"Surely you could make an exception for having a reservation as he is the Minister" Dumbledore tried his smooth talk and twinkling eyes.

I nodded to Daphne and she stated, "The Dragon's Breath will wave the reservation requirement for this group of customers on a one time basis. I assume you will require a private room?"

"Of course you smart ass shit they want a private talk." Snape growled and continued to mumble something to the effect of, " all like Potter…throwing him in a Ministry Cell"

The room was warded by Dumbledore and he and the Minister sat down at the table. The two Aurors positioned themselves by the door.

"Well sit down and give us your name" Thicknesse ordered.

I sat at the table and Tracey set one wine glass and a bottle of wine I front of me. I proceeded to pour myself a glass and took a sip, "It's your party, I am known as Harold Jimmy Johnson."

Dumbledore conjured two wine glasses and reached for the bottle of wine.

"Uh-uh, private stock, so find your own, now do you have any questions?"

The idiots ordered wine for themselves while nothing was asked for the Aurors. The interview went absolutely no where except insinuating that I broke the law and to tell me to report to the DMLE for an official statement.

"So is that all gentlemen" I asked as I stood.

Tracy removed my bottle of wine and I said, "Your bill will arrive shortly, have a nice day."

"WHAT! Thicknesse screamed.

"You asked that the reservation requirement be waived not the cost of the room or the cover charge nor that which you consumed. Please pay the server when the bill arrives. I heard one of the Aurors try to cover a laugh with a cough.

Dumbledore now had his attention on Harold Jimmy Johnson. Soon reports from the members of the Order of the Phoenix were coming in with odd information. Jimmy Johnson was supposed to be a squib but the Knockturn Alley people said you don't mess with Johnson and live to brag about it. Diagon alley people said Jim was the nice boy who helped people. The Goblins only said that Jimmy worked for them. Dumbledore was very interested in Jimmy Johnson.

Rumors came to Harry that people were asking in Diagon and Knockturn Alleys about Jimmy Johnson. Dumbledore was also in at Gringotts nosing around. Dumbledore even showed up at the meeting with the DMLE head for Jimmy's official statement. Harry it seemed could not keep Dumbledore out of his life.

Madam Bones was the head of the DMLE and was put out that I was not interviewed by the normal people in the normal way. She had been ordered by Minister Thicknesse to do the interview herself which was demeaning to her as the head of the DMLE she had people who took care of interviews. Then Dumbledore showed up and started asking questions about who Jimmy Johnson was and where he was born thus interrupting an official interview. Dumbledore was told to shut up by Madam Bones. Jimmy Johnson did whip out his English drivers license for Harold Jimmy Johnson born in Ashington End, Lincolnshire.

Since the only identification was your word or a driver's license that settled Madam Bone's questions but probably not Dumbledore's.

It was heart warming to see all that love permeating the room. I did get out from officially swearing that I was Jimmy Johnson.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14 – Here comes Voldemort, there goes the neighborhood

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The Dailey Profit hit the wizard world and the Dragon's Breath got a lot a free advertisement. Some how it got printed that the Dragon's Breath was were the élite dinned in safety, of course with "reservations". They had Minister Thicknesse and Chief Warlock dining there so it must be good not to mention hobnobbing with the best in magical society. The food was never mentioned.

I thought that Snape and Deatheaters defined as "best in magical society" was a bit much.

Voldemort in his luxurious throne surveyed his dingy dungeon in Crab Manor. Upstairs would be better but there was Crab, his wife and then Crab Jr. Together they had the brains of a flubber worm and conversations with them gave Voldemort a headache. The economy was in the toilet since that cursed Potter took off with his money to parts unknown. Now some foreigner had come and opened an expensive restaurant to irritate him and show off their Galleons. The ten Deatheaters sent to teach them a lesson and instill fear now sat in cells. They could rot there for a while, right now Voldemort and his limited force would have to show Diagon Alley the power of The Dark Lord.

"WORMTAIL!"

"Yes Master."

"Assemble all available Deatheaters we have a mission this evening and send in Lucius."

"Yes Master, right away Master"

"Lucius so good of you to come, I have a mission for you tonight."

"Thank you Master"

"I want you in the Dragon's Breath at 1700 hours, when the attack starts outside I want you and Macnair to kill as many as you can, here is your escape port-key"

"Thank you Master" Lucius was thinking, how in the hell do I get a reservation for that restaurant this late.

/Scene Break/

"Ah! Severus we have a date tonight…"

"I'm not into that kind of relation Headmaster."

"Good one Severus, no we have a reservation at the Dragon's Breath tonight. I believe that Jimmy Johnson is really Harry Potter under a 'glamour' charm.

"Headmaster, Potter is gone why do you keep trying to dig him up, he will only insult you again and disappear."

"Let's just take this a step at a time. Be in your best dress robes for dinner at 1730. We can 'floe' into the Leaky Cauldron. If you can hit Mr. Johnson with a 'Finite Incantatem' without being seen please do so.

Severus didn't get Voldemort's recall notification until he was seated in the Dragon's Breath restaurant. It was too late to head to Voldemort and he knew punishment would be comming when Voldemort saw him later.

/Scene Break/

Fifty Deatheaters appeared in Diagon alley followed minutes later by Voldemort himself. As before when the first spell hit the restaurant shields fell over the windows and doors and Jimmy Johnson stood on the front steps with a wand in each hand. Voldemort took a step backwards involuntarily. He saw spells and curses coming from the young upstart that he alone knew how to cast. Then he started to see a variety of deadly curses that he Voldemort had never seen or heard cast, all with devastating results. His troops were being cut down or exsploding all over the street.

Voldemort then got another shock; part of the front wall of the long restaurant fell into the street. His first thoughts of satisfaction was doused when hoards of Goblins rushed out to engage his Deatheaters. The next second he was in a battle with the deadly young man who couldn't be older that sixteen. The insolent brat wouldn't stay in one place and kept calling him Tom or Riddle and 'apperating' around like a pesky bee with a larger stinger.

So far he had hit the pest with a cutting curse but it appeared not to have much effect. The pest must be wearing armor of some kind. Voldemort was pleased to see blood appearing on his left arm.

This was going nowhere so if the kid could 'apperate'… when Voldemort tried...found 'anti-apperation' wards. His emergency port-key found wards also but the kid kept 'apperating' all over the place. Vodemort was hit full in the chest with a curse and then another, he felt himself drifting in wrath form and out of the alley.

Inside the restaurant Macnair got off one 'Avada Kedavra' when he noticed a pain in his neck and knew no more. Lucius Malfoy also got off an 'Avada Kedavra' and found most of his arm and his wand lying on the ground before the pain hit. Goblin Ax's got the two, the Deatheaters killed only two innocent people in the resturant. Lucius would live but no one was interested in quick medical attention to save the arm. Voldemort would also be upset with his failure.

The Ministry Aurors finally arrived to add to the confusion of the fight. The Goblins fell back into the restaurant and the wall returned to its previous position. The Goblins then opened the connecting wall to Gringotts and returned with their injured and dead.

Jimmy Johnson entered the restaurant in need of medical attention. His wives provided that medical attention along with trying to laugh, cry and tell him off all at the same time. The 'Finite Incantatem' called from the shadows did nothing except elicit, "Snape I'm going to kick your ass!" from Jimmy Johnson.

"Well fought my boy that was one spectacular show you put on against the Deatheaters…" Dumbledore was drawing his wand to cast an identification spell on the young boy as he talked…he found himself staring down the wands of two young ladies. He was further interrupter my Madam Bones charging into the restaurant demanding in a loud voice. "Who the hell killed Voldemort?"

I half heartedly raised my hand only to have her shake it blathering praise in my direction.

"Amelia, I'm afraid that Voldemort is not dead and will return…"

"Shut it, Albut we have the body on the way to the Ministry…

While all the yelling and other verbal nonsense was erupting, I grabbed the girls and snuck out of sight. The next morning I told the manager that we were disappearing and we headed to our castle in France. Being Jimmy Johnson was now as bad as being Harry Potter; everyone would want an interview or shake his hand. That is excluding the left over Deatheaters.

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The Dailey Profit special edition: …^…^…^…^Is the Dark Lord Dead?...^…^…

Is there a new Dark Lord killer or was this a gigantic hoax? Dear readers after all the reports of He Who Must Not Be Named being killed in Diagon Alley the Ministry refuses to show us the body. The young man who was reported to be Jim Johnson cannot be found nor do any records exist such as school or Ministry records that he ever existed. That he ever existed are from rumors out of Knockturn Alley and other unreliable sources. Some even state that he is our Chosen One in disguise. Our inside sources state that the Minister either lost or never had the body of the Dark Lord. While a body was logged in and put in a medical vault the Ministry seems to have miss laid the body. We will continue our investigation into these rumors or if it is a gigantic hoax.

Rita Skeeter

Dailey Profit

/Scene Break/

Daphne recommended a vacation while Tracey wanted a road trip covering half the world. We compromised and rented a motor coach and attempted to visit all of the Americas and Canada. The trip was a lot of work for me as I was the only driver. The girls didn't cook but Sissy was happy for something to do besides waxing and policing the entire coach. She would not stop working and I got all the driving, so vacation didn't describe our time. The girls got bored after a few months and the next thing I know we are in a magical Alley, shopping of course. That got us a copy of the International newspaper and disappointing news. Voldemort was back and on a rampage.

We were parked next to a lake and the sun was setting. "Now that is what I call a sunset" I mused as I laid on the lawn chair sipping on a cold drink.

"It is beautiful and relaxing" Daphne sighed.

"Well get off your buns and get the BBQ grill lit or we never get those steaks done." Tracey ordered.

"You're a real party pooper, just relax and…" The large Owl swooped in and landed on my knee.

I untied the note and told the girls. "Looks like a trip to the nearest Gringotts would be in our best interest"

"Interesting but does it say why?" Tracey asked.

"Nope, another Goblin 'I'm not telling' type note.

/Scene Break/

We arrived at the local Gringotts and were ushered into a large conference room. "Ah, Lord Potter and Ladies Potter and Slytherin I welcome you to Gringotts. Our other counter part will be arriving shortly, Tea and biscuits?

"Harry! How are you and your lovely ladies?" SharpKnife walked in the room with IronFist.

After the usual bows and pleasantries SharpKnife got down to the purpose of the meeting. Minister Thicknesse has offered a pardon to you for the poor actions of Fudge."

"What's the catches to this pardon" I asked.

"Your to return to England is the only stipulation" SharpKnife responded.

"You mean Voldemort wants Harry back in England." Daphne just beat Tracey's thoughts, "Or Dumbledore."

"Nope, no pardon, I want the entire thing thrown out and a public apology. Let's see how far Albus and Tom can push Thicknesse" was my last word on the subject.

/Scene Break/

Well they pushed and the next offer was to throw the conviction out and a public apology if Harry did a year of community service.

"You know that community service means with the Ministry and you will be the poster boy for Thicknesse until your enemies get to you?" Daphne explained. Thicknesse was informed that the offer was rejected as community service looked like I had done something wrong.

Their next offer was to throw out the conviction, make a public apology by the Ministry and then announce that I was to be the new DADA teacher at Hogwarts for the entire year.

"Their not giving up on us returning to England." I was laughing because we were now living at the Caladrius Hotel penthouse in England.

"Your not going to get a better deal or talk them out of getting you back in England." Tracey stated.

"We will have private quarters in Hogwarts so we won't be total open to be attacked." Daphne added.

"OK! We go for the offer from Thicknesse and starting on September 1st... its train ride time.

"How are we going dear, as Harry Potter or ourselves or as the others?" Daphne asked the big question.

"I say as ourselves, they can piss-off for all I care" Tracey voted

"Seconded," responded Daphne.

"Well I guess my mind is made up, majority rules. However, thinking about it, you're correct, enough with the hiding of our identities."

I think that's why we took their offer in the first place, after one year they can do as Tracey put it, piss-off.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15 – Old homecoming week

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No one paid much attention to us until we entered the train and got a compartment. The looks were only because we were older than what usually attends Hogwarts. What we never realized in all our train rides was that a professor rode the train. The Professor had a private compartment at the head of the train next to the Perfects compartment. Much to our chagrin we found who this professor was about a half hour into the trip.

The door slid open and there stood Snape. "What are you doing on this train?"

"I would think it obvious we are riding." He apparently didn't recognize me as his sentence didn't end with "Potter".

"Don't give me any lip and answer my question!"

"Sorry I wasn't going to give you any lip as I am not carrying any potion ingredients with me on this trip."

"You will tell me who you are or I will throw you off this train" Snape patented sneer was out doing itself.

"Oh dear! Is that a threat? You have not even introduced yourself and you dare threaten a lord and his ladies with violence?" I just had to ham it up a bit.

Snape stepped further into the compartment with the clear idea of laying his hands on me, his typical first step in a discussion. He however found himself hit by a lightning bolt. He was on his bum and tied up in ropes before he could raise another sneer. I had hit him with a low-level charge but it caused a general paralysis. The ropes were courtesy of my wives. I had not forgotten the pranks that he was owed or the wand at Daphne's neck. He got the pleasure of seeing his wand dangling just out of his reach as he struggled in the corridor. Funny no one came to his aid for the rest of the trip to Hogsmeade Village station, not even the Perfects came by on patrol.

Later at the station:

After stepping over Snape and waving good-bye to him I helped the girls off the train. We grabbed a carriage to Hogwarts for the start of the fun. It started with disembarking from the carriage and the polite question from Professor Filius Flitwick, "Ah, and who might you folks be?"

"I am Lord Potter Slytherin, this is Lady Slytherin and this is Lady Potter. I have been drafted to be your new DADA instructor for the year." That sent him running to the Deputy Head McGonagall. The big Muck-it-up made it a habit to enter the Great Hall at the last-minute. I escorted the ladies to the head table and we sat awaiting the fun.

McGonagall was busy preparing for the sorting of the new students she only gave a tight-lipped glare at us and continued on with here duties. Dumbledore was quicker on the up take when he did enter the hall. He was able to recognize me as Harry Potter even if he did not recognize my face.

McGonagall had the new students lined up in the hall and had just put the hat on the chair. Dumbledore entered the hall recognized me and the fun started. "Mr. Potter only teachers are allowed at this table." This statement was referring to my wives and asserted his authority over me.

I thought he was trying to start a process to put me under his thumb. I was not going to let him get away with any control of me especially through my wives.

In a loud voice I said, "Come girls the grouchy old man wants to keep his table reserved for grouch old people." There were some snickers heard in the Great Hall.

As we approached the Slytherin table Dumbledore again spoke, "I am afraid that table is for students only and all teachers are required to sit at this table." This little game of his would leave me asking for a favor for the seating of my wives.

"Oh dear Ladies the old goat has just set the tone for the entire year." I conjured an oval table and three comfortable chairs just off from the podium and proceeded to assist the ladies taking their seats. I then turned to Dumbledore and said quite loud as he was about to again say I couldn't do something, "Listen you old goat, I don't take orders from you and if you find that not to your liking you can go argue with Minister Thicknesse for a replacement DADA instructor. I and my ladies will be taking Lord Slytherin's quarters so be a good old fart and have your elves prepare the quarters. You may have one of the Perfects show me the quarters and my class room facilities after we eat."

"How dare you!

"Oh don't get all flustered or you will have stroke and if you are thinking of using that Wand of Destiny you may find it stuck up your bum before the night is over."

"You will see me in my office after we finish the welcoming feast!"

"Sorry if it's that important you can find me in the classroom but don't bother us in our quarters." I was pushing him but there was no way he was going to tell me what to do or when.

"Sissy" I called and asked her, "Are the elves giving you any problems here at Hogwarts?"

"No Master Harry they be all happy that I be Lord Slytherin's elf and are happy yous be here."

"Great, could you get us some food from the kitchens and join us for the meal."

"Yes Master Harry"

I didn't think Dumbledore was going to extend anything our way and showing him I needed nothing from him might keep him away. The hall was overly quiet as the sorting began. After the sorting we got our share of stares until uncle Snape stormed into the Great Hall just after pudding was served.

"POTTER! I am going to kill you."

"That's Lord Potter Professor Snape or Professor Potter if you prefer." That was all I got out as Snape drew his wand and fired off a cutting curse. My shield forced the curse upwards taking out a number of the floating candles. I then sent him flying with a modified blast of lightning which banished him down the length of one of the student's tables. He made a big splash in the pudding department but a mess on everyone else at that table.

When the dust settled or better phrased, as the pudding quivered Professor McGonagall arrived and showed us to Slytherin's quarters. She did not saying a word along the way. I warded the portrait so only we three could enter and then got a tongue lashing from the girls.

Daphne started with, "Did you really have to push him that hard?"

Tracey continued. "McGonagall is totally livid about the whole thing, did you see here face coming up here."

"Sorry girls but I could care less what they think or want, so they lose. Snape will suffer for holding his wand at your neck and sending me to Azkaban. This has not been my choice since day one but I seem to be the one living their delusions. If it wasn't for you two I really don't know what I would do. I must say though, Slytherin wasn't all that dumb, these private quarters of his aren't in the dungeons."

"Yes but do we sit on the furniture? The things must be a thousand years old?" Daphne observed.

"I sure it's the elves and their magic." Tracey jumped onto the couch unfortunately the couch was stuffed with horse hair and wasn't that soft. "Ouch already."

I called Sissy, "Could you ask the head elf if he could arrange storage for all these antics and provide more modern furniture?"

The flurry of elves and moving furniture sent us on a stroll of the castle. Curfew had arrived so the only people we saw were the Perfects until we approached the Great Hall.

"Morgana", whispered Daphne, "Tell me I'm having a mini nightmare."

"Nope my dear that is our old school mate, I wonder if Filch retired, died or is lurking in another part of the castle?"

Tracey couldn't resist, "Hello Mr. Weasley, its not often we bump into an old classmate."

Ron Weasley gave a surly growl which would make Filch proud, took his broom and left.

"Do you think he is going flying? I giggled.

"Don't be foolish Harry; Squib janitors don't go flying on their brooms in the hall. You know that's against the rules." Tracey giggled along with Daphne and me.

/Scene Break/

The elves did themselves proud on furniture replacement and we three splashed around in the tub and then snuggled in bed for a peaceful sleep. The girls would be working out a schedule as soon as I got my class schedule. I had been a naughty boy as I didn't show up a week before school started. Missing the orientation meeting, which Dumbledore headed, was to upset him. The Headmaster and Snape still had a lot to pay for in my mind. I was planning to do a good job for the students but the rest had better stay out of my way.

The next morning went calmly; I got my syllabus and schedule. I kissed the girls and headed for my first class which was fourth year double period.

I arrived after the last bell, "OK you lot, stand up, wand at the ready." I moved all the seats over to a corner and started. "Now I want you all to call me Harry when in the classroom. You will have to call me Professor everywhere else or suffer the ire of the other professors." I noticed a slight disturbance in the air by the student's desks.

"Now I am not your friend or pal and I will work you until you hate me. This school has been lax in training, always has been. Now if you want to learn about pixie, Kelpie, or Kappa there is a library in Hogwarts and feel free to read about them. A listing will be on the board for your next class, beware those items will be on your OWLs. You are going to learn of those creatures by self-study, this class will be on fighting. No not dueling but fighting. Any questions?" I sent three spells to the air disturbance which followed by a thud of a body hitting the floor.

"Now while the person in the corner revives themselves we will continue. How many of you know shielding charms? Ok, those who don't or are unsure go over there and line up against the wall and those who say they can, line up on the other wall. Now only simple jinxes…"

The confusion and cayos that followed was almost funny. Students that knew a shield block the person across from them but many got hit with poorly aimed spells from other students after they dropped their shields. After reviving half the class a discussion was held on what they had learned or what they should have learned. I promised them more dueling in the next class.

The afternoon class was for first years. The class was more how to maintain their wand and warning about magic or magical exhaustion. I would let them have a few weeks with Flitwick lifting feathers to begin controlling their magic. Dumbledore was not a happy camper after he woke up alone in my classroom.

"Mr. Potter in my office immediately!" Dumbledore ordered at lunch.

I turned to the girls and said in a loud voice, "OH dear it's not Professor Potter or Lord Potter, what have I done to be degraded so by the Great Leader of the Light?" I had my arm over my forehead fainting sorrow as I held back a laugh.

Dumbledore's office:

"Harry I am disappointed that you are not following the syllabus which was provided to you."

"That archaic listing of obsolete material? If you find my material or my instruction substandard please feel free to fire me or terminate my contract."

It was obvious, as he backed off, that he was planning something. As much as he showed up in my life only a fool would believe he had no plans for me, the same went for Voldemort.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16 – Its Hogsmeade Village weekend

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The girls were quite bored with Hogwarts and the weekend break was the break to escape the castle. We could leave every evening for the theatre or dinning but there was something the girls missed, a whole day of shopping. I was now being dragged alone.

The day went as usual, they shop I get bored and smile a lot. That's when the students in the area and maybe more bystanders got an exposition in fighting. The Ministry and the Turkey club has taken a break but apparently I am still a trouble magnet.

It started by my noticing a group of six strangely dressed men and women approaching. All were dressed in muggle looking business suits with string ties. They had a cape covering one of their shoulders. In London this would not stand out but in a magical village it was odd especially as they appeared to be heading towards us.

"Daphne take Tracey and get lost there is trouble approaching!"

We had argued over this more than once but the girls understood that I could not protect them and myself in a fight and still be my offensive self. So they had agreed not to argue and get us all killed but would move off and take cover. They could cast spells all they wished from their covered position.

The strangers didn't waste much time as they started running off at the mouth instead of just casting their curses. Bad form as it gives the victim a chance to run or start casting first.

"Vatican knights of the crusade attack the magical Satin!" screamed the head idiot. I took him as the head idiot as his cloak was a different color than the rest. It appeared that there were another group of lunatics running around and pushing their idea of what was right.

I must say I did a fine exposition of spell casting, dodging and 'sliding'. More that one student at Hogwarts was present to witness the spell fire. What bothered me the most was the weird spell they were casting. I was afraid that my shields would not stop those crazy curses. Better yet what those crazy curses would do if they hit me? They were a vocal group that invoked a lot of 'god our savior' or 'blessed be' along with their curses. I had disarmed about half of them and was getting some strange shocks from their wands. It felt like these morons were a different type of wizard. Suddenly they all disappeared with what I assumed were port-keys.

Normally I have the desire to look up the information from the shock the wand gives. These wand left spell and curse in my mind, really strange feeling ones, I must have Professor Victor help me break them down as see what they are capable of doing. Besides who were the Vatican Knights of the Crusade?

Madam Bones and a few Aurors showed up after a few minutes and we talked. Better stated that they asked questions and I answered, but I got in a few questions.

The first of my questions was, "Who the hell were those idiots?"

"You said Vatican Knights of the Crusade which mean it could be a couple of cults we have running around. They sound like one of those Italian religious cuts."

"You're telling me that there are more Voldemort type cults running around and willing to have a go at our lives?"

"Sorry Harry but there are always cults or Dark Lords, we just have to keep beating them back. This group may have been of the 'Templar' origin or who knows maybe from the Vatican. Just remember the adage, power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely remember Fudge?"

There was one curse that kept running around in my head from that encounter and I needed to look it up, the English translation of the Latin curse was frightening.

There is one thing that is an absolute fact, etched in stone and forever ongoing and that is the rumor mill of Hogwarts. My fight in Hogsmeade Village was in the rumor mill before the last bad guy fell. The rumors spread like wild fires in dry brush. By the time I got to my next class I was someone to be worshiped, feared or not to be messed with. The overall respect helped even the intransigent want to learn defensive fighting in my classes.

/Scene Break/

The DADA classes were moving along at a pace that I hoped would at least defend the student and maybe their families. The most stressed in all classes was run, evade and survive. Some of the students were even advancing at casting 'Expecto Patronum'. I was surprised how many first years could now cast "Confringo' and 'Reducto' among others and not have a magical exhaustion day. In all cases I stressed if they used these spell against other students I would personally curse them out of Hogwarts.

Dumbledore was unusually quiet and I had no problems except for one Severus Snape. His mouth was as famous as his greasy appearance. He tried one evening in the Great Hall to do whatever he thought he was doing. Our run-ins caused me to wonder if he was just that much of an ass or was he being directed by Voldemort or Dumbledore? I was sitting at the Ravenclaw table as part of my get along with everyone in Hogwarts attempt. Snape apparently did not like that and started his bile.

"What seems to be your problem Professor Snape?

"Don't give me your dribble you snot nosed…"

"Might I remind you Professor Snape that I am referred to as Lord Potter Slytherin 'the snot nosed kid' or as Professor Potter 'the snot nosed', just remember the correct title Professor." Giggling could be heard in the Great Hall.

This exchange went on without any intervention by the Great Leader of the Light.

Snape of course snapped and drew his wand and attempted to teach 'the snot nosed kid' a lesson in dealing with greasy haired 'snot nosed adults'.

Now sending a lot of dangerous cursed at me meant into the student population. While it is not a concern of the dark lord what Snape did to kids at Hogwarts most teachers took exception. The Dark Lord however may not have liked the result of those curses.

Not a student was injured or hit as they all got up protective shields, ducked or evaded the curses. That could not be said for Snape as he got hit with at least six spells from the professors at Hogwarts. The students then gave the teachers a round of applause.

Snape was gone for a couple of days but was soon terrorizing his students once more from his Potion class.

I had no complaints as my classes were running smoothly. There is always a smart-alec or trouble maker but they were usually handled without much fuss. I was happy to look back and find that I wasn't like that when I was a student. That is if you excluded Snape's opinion of my behavior.

/Scene Break/

Of course I am prejudiced in the area of the Dragon's Breath. I knew it had the best food in town not to mention the fabulous steaks. As we strolled down the street I still received calls of "Hi Jim" or "Good day Jimmy" but so is the confusion in my life. Today was the day that the steak I wanted awaited my taste buds.

The girls picked at their salmon in their etiquette way while giving me the fish eye as I devoured my huge steak and chips while ignoring the broccoli. After an enjoyable evening of food, window shopping and discussion of things of no importance we headed to our apartment.

"Harry where would you like to go tomorrow?" This was a loaded question. If I said an amusement park the girls would say the weather was too nasty. If I said the library I would get 'Its too boring for a beautiful day like today'. So I just put a pleasant look on my face and said, "Not any real opinion what would you girls like to do?"

"Well we need to head down town for a few items then we can pick out a nice place to eat lunch." Tracey casually replied.

We decided, correction, the girls decided on a day of shopping followed with a cinema. McDonalds was bantered around as the choice of dinning as my choice of KFC got the thumbs down.

The next morning:

The day of shopping and cinema arrived and I got to view a few hours of lingerie shopping followed by shoes and dresses. Sissy got exercise lugging bags of purchases to the apartment or Hogwarts. I got to pay for the purchases. To save money they decided on the Dragon's Breath for dinner. By the time we had finished eating it was decided that everyone was too tired to press on so we returned to Hogwarts. Classes started in the morning for me, the girls decided to sleep in for a while.

/Scene Break/

While I love the girls I hate shopping all day. However on the next free day we were at it again. This time it was robes and magical wear and aimed at dressing me. I expected Madam Malkin's Robes for all Occasions but got surprised early in the day. The girls dragged me down to Knockturn Alley to a dinghy shop named "The Dead End". I was told as was the proprietor that dragon hide was their objective including boots. I was going to purchase these items and the subject was not open for discussion. Where they learned any of this is beyond me.

"Yes, a full coat front and back not some flimsy vest." Daphne directed the owner.

"Oh and we want that floppy piece that covers his important parts." Tracey added.

"And the boots?" the proprietor was not use to wives directing this kind of protective clothing.

"Mid-thigh I think, and make it entirely of dragon hide that will also repel sharp objects." Daphne was a force when she got started.

"I assume you wish a full cloak to go with that?" I was not sure wheather the owner asked that as if he was joking or being sarcastic.

Daphne must have missed the tone as she just answered, "Yes we feel that would be acceptable, so when can we pick-up our order?"

Three hours later we got the completed, suit? It was not overly bad or constrictive and the owner said with constant use it would loosen up quite a bit. I then got dragged for new clothes that covered all this extra bulk I was carrying. I couldn't believe that this day cost more that a full day of both girls shopping but I knew when to keep my mouth shut at least I thought I did.

Then the arguing started!

"I WILL NOT! I refuse, that is ridiculous." I stated.

"Oh yes you will Harry James Potter!" Tracey shot back.

"That goes for me also!" Daphne's retort was delivered as if that was the end of the discussion.

I put myself on the couch for the night; I just was not going to wear all this protective garbage everywhere I went! No! Not happening!

Daphne slipped out first and sat with me on the couch but I just stared ahead. I know I was throwing a temper tantrum but they were not being fair. I had to wear that stuff not them. Tracey floated in a bit later and sat on my other side. Awhile later consisting of silence, Tracey spoke, "Look dear we are not sitting here freezing our bums off so you can ignore us."

I then lost the argument; I look at her in here baby-doll nigh-tee. Daphne scooted over and snuggled next to me and I felt she was wearing about the same nothing.

Daphne purred, "You only have to wear it when you are not in our living quarters or go out of the apartment sweet heart."

So I caved, I did get a wild week of reinforcement training from the girls. Maybe when I get as old a Dumbledore I will be able to say no to the female persuasion. Right now? No way!


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17 – It's your war Potter

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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners i.e. J.K. Rawlings, etc. The original characters and plot are the property of the author i.e. J.K. Rawlings, etc. This work is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Not for sale or profit. Where was I…Ah yes, dreams that go bump in the night.

I was still getting the convince hubby that his nice sweet wives loved the way he was being a nice obedient husband. OR…don't you dare was the other option. So after dragging my bones out of bed and getting the hot shower to wake up I plastered a smile on my face. The smile showed the wives I cared as I struggled to get the dragon hide protection on and secured. I could come to hate dragons and the skin they lived in.

I never got to class as I was high-jacked by Dumbledore, "Professor Potter a word if you will."

"What can I do for you Headmaster?"

"The Minister of Magic wishes to see us at the Ministry at two this afternoon."

"Has the Minister figured out that we have classes with students awaiting our words of wisdom?"

"I'm sure he has left that up to my administrative capabilities. Professor Snape will be taking the rest of your classes for the day." Oh, I bet that will make the students happy.

"So what is the complaint of the day from our illustrious Minister of magic?

"He just said it was of the most serious nature."

I thought. At least I will be able to tell my wives that the Minister is thinking of us.

/Scene Break/

"Now we want you to wear this nice cloak as it sets off your eyes" Daphne was fussing over me.

"We didn't get you this fancy dragon hide cloak with this cute gold chain for it to gather dust in the closet. Tracey was fussing over the gold chain as she snapped it closed.

It was not to bad as the cloak also had the Potter and Slytherin crests on the shoulder. The cloak gave an elegant noble appearance and basically covered the school robes. I was not thrilled with going to see Thicknesse but why argue? Thicknesse was just going to try and get some publicity out of my status. I would politely say no and he would continue to push. In the end it would be a lot of hot air being displaced with more hot air. Dumbledore and I 'floed', from his office, to the atrium at the Ministry of Magic. It was a trap.

I learned a long time ago that magic was intent. You could say hocus-pocus with no results but add intent for the chair to dance and the chair danced. The spells name and wand waving was to get the wizard too concentrated on what they intended on doing with the magic. When I picked up someone's wand I got something akin to knowledge of a spell. I knew what the spell felt like that was all I needed, that and the intent of the spell. There was rune construction etc but my holding the wand just bypassed all that theory. This all flashed through my head as I remembered all the wands I had held, which brought up all the spells I knew… as I came face to face with Voldemort and his buddies in the atrium.

I have always been of a mind that the Aurors and the Ministry was being paid to protect the people from Voldemort and bad people in general. It was not my place to be fighting and defeating the bad guys that was the Ministry's job. My job was to defend myself and stay alive. I was now in a place where the Ministry had failed in its job so that left me with surviving. I hoped that if there were any innocence in the atrium that they could look after themselves and survive as I released my curses and spells. Fear is a great motivator.

My shields were up and being maintained by my non wand hand. Curses were already bouncing off of it and into the atrium proper. My wand was spitting death as fast as I could think of the curse. 'Tela argenti' (darts of silver) flew followed by 'Flammis Aeternitate' (flames of eternity). I unloaded a number of 'Confringo', 'Diffindo', and 'Reducto" curses when my brain kicked in and asked me, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE!

I 'slid' out of the atrium and to our Hogwarts quarters, it's the Ministry's job after all. That's when I almost really died, the girls were furious. The Dragon hide had done its job although it was in need of a little cleaning, Sissy took care of that in a flash. It was obvious that Sissy was cleaning spell fire residue. I took care of the yelling girls by using an old adult method; I put my fingers in my ears and started a mock singing, la, la, la, la. It slowed them down a bit.

"What the hell happened? Daphne demanded.

"It was a trap but give me a bit to sort this out. Let me tell you what I think happened, that may be easier. Dumbledore and I 'floed' into the Ministry's atrium, Voldemort was there with a ton of Deatheaters. The place exploded into kayos and then some. I thought it was best to leave and here I am."

What I wasn't going to say was just how dangerous it was. In the confined atrium curses that bounced off my shield went somewhere and that was usually at someone else. The curses ricocheted around the atrium untill they exploded or hit someone. Now multiply that by twenty Deatheaters and it wasn't just a flashing light show in a ball room dance floor.

"How come Voldemort was there the minute you got there?" Tracey asked while looking confused.

"Of course it was a trap, arrange by someone silly, but who, where was Dumbledore while all this fighting was going on?" Daphne growled.

"Now that's a good question, I didn't see him once the fighting started. You know how he is always out front and very visible, but not this time.

We all agreed to be confused but I still got "We told you so!" over the Dragon Hide purchase and its mandatory wear.

Later at lunch there was no Dumbledore or Snape and everyone was acting normal. No word had gotten to the school of the fight at the Ministry. It was a normal meal except for THE rumor.

The rumor was that Snape had done something to a muggleborn while I was gone.

"I don't know what Snape did to Jane but she got really, really pissed and told Snape to keep his Greasy hands to himself." Allen started.

Pettie jumped in, "Well Snape tries to grab Jane but she hits him with an 'incarcerous' but Snape shakes it off and fires a 'Confringo' at Jane."

Allen flawlessly picked up the tale, "We thought Jane was a goner but she got her 'Protego' up and in place and it held. That was when the class unloaded all their spells that they knew at Snape."

Tini finished the tale, "McGonagall comes rushing in and runs us all out of the room. Last I saw Madam Pomfrey had Snape levitated and heading to the hospital wing."

At dinner Dumbledore had not shown but an extra addition of the Dailey Profit had been printed and arrived. All it did was cause confusion. It stated that there was an attack at the Ministry by the Dark Lord and a list of people dead or injured.

The rumor was that Snape was at St. Mungo. The student's stuck with the rumors for the rest of the evening, the Snape rumors were more interesting than a list of dead people you didn't want to know.

When the fearless leader of the light returned he avoided me and I received no call to go to his office. That got the girls more interested as to where he was and what he was doing.

At the next Great Hall assembly of hungry students the rumor was that Snape was back and giving Dumbledore an ear full. Snape wanted the entire class expelled for attacking a teacher. McGonagall was also rumored to be upset about something and giving the Headmaster what for in Gallic. The rumor also said that Dumbledore was seen with his fingers in his ears and singing, la, la, la.

A couple of days later I was escorted by my ladies to the Dragon's Breath for dinner with two determined ladies. My directions were that if we did not learn something in the Dragons Breath or in Knockturn Alley, that the Ministers office was to be stormed by irate Harry Potter wives. Luckily for me we found a Wizengamot member at the bar who was exceedingly happy, and for a few more drinks he impart a tale of utter incompetence.

Thickness it seems had wanted Harry Potter to boost his rating by appearing in public with him. Mrs. Edgecombe was the head of the 'floe' network had dropped all restrictions on the 'floe' network into the atrium, reasons unknown. Dolohov an Auror now a wanted Deatheater dropped the 'anti-apperation' wards killing some Ministry workers to do so. There were even rumors about Dumbledore being found in the Chief Warlock's office not knowing that a fight was going on. Even the drunk Wizengamot member said the whole thing was a cock-and-bull tale.

All this just added to the confusion besides it was not my job to sort it all out. I did know that Dumbledore did not stroll through the atrium to his office and not notice a fight going on in the atrium. All I knew is that come June the second my requirements to stay at Hogwarts ended and my farm was looking good.

"February had rolled around and it was again a Hogsmeade weekend for the students. Dumbledore was afraid of an attack by Voldemort and had all the teachers along with some Aurors patrolling the streets.

"Why not cancel the Hogmeade visit if he thinks it's so dangerous? Daphne asked while shaking her head.

"I think his brains have gone to mush, he's getting to old for the job I say!" Tracey didn't usually mince words.

I added my knut, "Just remember to escape to Hogwarts or somewhere safe. Voldemort would give anything to kill you or kidnap you. If you can't get to me so I can 'slid' you, then 'apperate' out or just run. There's no winning with him with all his creeps running around. The girls were not required to go like I was but as usual I got out voted.

Hogsmeade Village:

The real danger was freezing to death. So at any given time you could find all the protectors in The Three Broomsticks over a hot butter beir or just taking a break in the warm building. Voldemort was smarter, he was in his dungeon plotting his next series of raids and punishing those who let Harry Potter get away from the Ministry.

That evening you could see Ron Weasley grumbling and mumbling to make the retired Filch proud. All the snow and mud being tracked into the hall by the returning students was keeping Ron quite unhappy. A muggle mop was never going to win over the horde of students returning to the castle.

I was thinking as I gazed at the head table that I needed to start pranking the teachers. Snape looked like he could use a good enema while Dumbledore was again looking unusually happy.

What was not seen were the Voldemort supporters in Slytherin. They were plotting how they were going to carry out the Dark Lords new orders.

Snape was in his dungeon plotting how to get even with Harry Potter.

Fawkes was just shaking his head. The old fart was trying to hatch a new plot to gain control of Harry Potter.

Draco Malfoy was plotting his rise to power with the death of Potter.

Minister Thicknesse was reviewing his current plot to snare Harry Potter and appease the Dark Lord.

Plot after plot... scheme after scheme...never-the-less it was always said,,, that Hogwarts was the safest place on the English isles.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18 – The plots thicken

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"Severus I know you would like to squash Harry and I believe I have a way for you to do just that."

"What crazy plan have you brewed up this time?"

"What we need to do is when Harry and his wives go to the Great Hall we need to be there and let them over hear…"

"Will the stupid brat even know where the room is or …"

"Never fear Severus Harry Potter knows where the room of lost things is and how to open the door then we…"

"You are going to switch the Dark Object with a replica? Merlin knows what a Dark cursed object could do among the students."

"Not to worry Severus it's already been done. I can then threaten Harry with firing, Azkaban and much more. Being the kind person that I am he will be willing or be forced into following my directions." Snape departed the office shaking his head. While the plan had merit for Snape to extract some pain from Potter the old mans plan had no chance of controlling Potter.

The plot was laid; Fawkes just left the idiots and went for a long flight, he needed some fresh air. At the same time Nott had Draco and a few others plotting.

"The Dark Lord wants this liquid put into Potter's whores drink. Since we cannot get close to their table without them getting suspicious we need a plan. Anyone have any ideas how we are going to do this?" Nott was afraid that this was not going to work and this mission had been given to him personally by the Dark Lord.

"Well Father…"

"Draco! We have had enough of you and your father bragging I need…"

"Do you want a plan or don't you Nott? As I was saying Father let slip that the Dark Lord has Thicknesse under the 'imperious' Curse. The Dark Lord has Yaxley pulling his strings, so let's get Yaxley to have Thicknesse come here to give Potter an award or something. The Thicknesse can slip in the potion using some kind of toast." The plan hatched a couple of the Slytherins set off to the Owlery to dispatch the plan to Yaxley.

A few days later:

Harry, Daphne and Tracey were coming off the Grand Stairway with thoughts of a late dinner when they heard Professors Dumbledore and Snape just ahead of the hungry trio. They were arguing about something. Dumbledore and Snape were stopped just inside the doors to the entrance hall. Snape was holding the door open so what was said could be heard by Harry and his wives who had stopped to listen.

"I tell you it's a dark object and we need to remove it immediately. We can't let another incident like the Chamber of Secrets to happen." Snape growled.

"It's quite safe where it is and Voldemort is not going to come waltzing in to pick it up any time soon. The Horcrux can be dealt with on the next break where the students are safely home."

"The diary was a Horcrux and that tiara is a Horcrux and both are something the Dark Lord would give anything to retrieve. This school is in extreme danger Headmaster."

As the Headmaster and Snape moved on to the Great Hall Daphne asked, "Do we go to retrieve it first or let them deal with the Horcrux?"

"I say let them have Voldemort's dirty Horcrux and keep out of it." This discussion continued until they entered the Great Hall. What they did not see was that they were not the only ones to overhear the Headmaster. Draco and Nott were coming up the Grand Stair case from the dungeons and overheard the whole conversation.

"We go for it tomorrow; the Dark Lord will be most pleased if we show up with something he convents to that extent." Draco only got a nod from Nott.

That evening Draco was at the room of lost things. Finding the tiara was a problem but about an hour later he spied a tiara on a the bust on an old cabinet. Wrapping it in the finest silk handkerchief that Draco had he was thinking that he would be held in the highest esteem by the Dark Lord. Draco already thought of a few people he would have on their knees kissing the hem of his robes. His great thoughts of presenting the tiara to the Dark Lord were interrupted by a stunner to the back. Nott had the same thoughts of being the greatest in the eyes of the Dark Lord, but double cross was first on his list, Nott was a Slytherin after all. Nott had followed Draco and waited until he left the room. Work was for someone else and not a rising Deatheater.

Nott's body pieces were left outside of Hogwarts. The tiara sat prominently on the head of Nott. Voldemort was not happy with Nott presenting a phony Horcrux but his temper was beyond description as he knew someone had the real one and his secret was no longer safe.

The shakes left Draco a few days later as the junior Deatheater fathers Owled in information and had told of the Dark Lords furry. Draco knew how close he came to being Nott, Draco also hoped that his monogrammed handkerchief was not part of the presentation. Now the announcement by the Headmaster that Minister Thicknesse would be arriving tomorrow at lunch to make a presentation lost Draco his appetite. This was his plan and if it failed Draco knew what lay in store for him.

The next day at lunch:

"Friend and students of this great institution of Hogwarts…bla, bla, bla."

As the Minister was having diarrhea of the mouth, "I wonder what brings the jerk here." Daphne whispered.

"He did bring enough reporters to make a crowd. Some of them may be paying attention to him." Tracey giggled.

"…so if our Diagon Alley hero Harry Potter will step up here with his charming wives…"

I knew this was trouble of some sort but the "what and the where" escaped me. "Keep your eyes open girls." I whispered as we headed up to the head table.

I scanned the people and then the table as innocently as I could. I was looking for anything that was odd like weapons or something out-of-place or something that could be a port-key, hell anything; I just did not like what was going on. Then I noticed a small thing, there were goblets that were already filled with some liquid. A toast was my guess but the abnormality was one of the four goblets was away from the other three, not by much but enough to catch my eye. Maybe I was getting paranoid like MadEye Moody but I did three things while the Minister again turned to the audience to run his mouth. I stepped so the Minister could not see and reversed the oddly set goblet for one of the other three. I then pulled my wives close as to give each a kiss on the cheek and whispered, "Don't drink from the goblets."

It may have been that the dragon dung the Minister was saying was nowhere close to any brave act we may have done. Maybe it was the oddly placed goblet or maybe I was just crazy but the Minister finally said that we were going to toast the brave feats of Harry Potter. When he grabbed the oddly placed goblet I was almost sure. As we all raised our goblets as to drink I told the Minister, "I don't think you should be drinking that Minister!"

He didn't even hesitate and took a big sip. He opened his mouth to say something, most likely why we three were not drinking and he quietly dropped dead. About that time Draco Malfoy fainted.

/Scene Break/

Madam Bones arrived with six Aurors and in a nasty mood. "The Aurors will take your statements before you leave for your common rooms. Who was involved in this mess besides Harry or is it Jimmy today?"

"Amelia I do believe…"

"Can it Dumbledore I want Harry's version before you muddle up the whole investigation."

"Sorry Madam Bones I have very little information. The award ceremony I felt was bogus and I noticed something off with the positions of the goblets we were to toast with. I had no information or facts I just felt uneasy with the whole ceremony. I told him I didn't think he should drink but he did and died. Who put what in the goblets I couldn't guess other than it must have been on Voldemort's orders and aimed at me any my wives."

Draco was able to relax about four days later when word came from some of the Deatheater fathers that the Dark Lord was pasted furious and went on a killing rage. He was furious that he couldn't kill Nott again. The word was Nott had convinced Yaxley to direct Thicknesse to administer the poison. Somewhere it got muddled and Thicknesse tried to kill Harry and his wives. Everyone knew Voldemort demanded the privilege of killing Harry Potter. Yaxley mutilated body appeared in the minister's office a few days later.

Dumbledore provided some entertainment when he found himself glued to his chair in the Great Hall during lunch one day. He appeared disinterested in the entire prank. It finally took a couple of teachers to interrupt his humming and help undo his robes for him to escape the robes glued to the chair.. The hall basically lost their appetite at that point. Seeing a hundred-twenty year old man in his boxers and T-shirt with a velvet pouch hung around his neck was not what one wanted to remember.

Snape was a better prank. Knowing his mild temperament someone put a substantial amount of glue around the door and in the lock of his quarters. Snape got royally pissed off and blew the door off its hinges. The door went to pieces but that was the plan, it activated a reverse action of pink mist which blew out of the doorway. While he changed his clothes the results were evident for two days. All exposed areas were still a shocking shade of pink including his greasy hair.


End file.
